Outreach
It feels like Vaneris’s feelings for iteration pi are not entirely healthy... It was interesting. Lots of hints at wider lore as with the Halloween story and that momentous things have happened, but here’s a couple folks just lying together on a holiday. And, hey, Bread can be hard to get right!
First 3 reviews:
A Xenophiliac’s Christmas Carol – By Clover
A goofy, even funny little tale that plays rather well with the well known Dicken’s material. I had fun with this. Even when the ending took a rather hard left turn towards a bit dark. While I also love the way you had your characterization, I must admit to not liking the main character.
Jello – By DP
I’m pretty sure your main character was a sociopath, but the story was a nice little peak into your dark little world here. It is rather frightening how close it can be to real life at times. I just think it went a little too fast. A lot of things happened, without any real time for anything to properly sink in. Megan just kind of went from event to event without any real emotional ties for me as the reader to sympathize with her much.
Nothing to Sneeze At – By BronxWench
Adorable really. Truly adorable. The intro managed to get the exposition stuff done in a way that felt like I was being told the story while sitting at a bar with a pint by a buddy. Then it flowed quite well into the more traditional narrative format. Even still, throughout there were moments it did feel like I was in a nice warm pub having a chat with a friend who was super eager to tell me about his new boyfriend. I like the little twist too, but I’m a sucker for fantasy.
Santa's Sleigh
I'm going to admit, I didn't quite like this one as much, and it's largely due to the way I felt about Fitz. He just bothered me from start to finish, with his belligerence, his reliance on drinking to handle any curve--while his wife was in fucking labor? Seriously? It felt to me like Fitz was looking to blame everyone and everything but himself, and while Father Jordan is one of the most loathsome creatures imaginable, Fitz isn't far behind. If I were Isabel, I'd have left Fitz a long time ago.
Anyway, sorry, but this one just made me cranky.
Solstice of Dawn
I truly enjoyed revisiting this world. It's complicated, and I really like that. Nothing is ever what it seems, and Varia is far too intelligent to expect easy answers. There's a lovely tension throughout the story, and really, I was guessing as to what path Varia would take right to the end, so well done! The sex was wonderfully erotic, and sweetly tender as well, a gift for a night filled with significance for Varia and Lydia both. And of course, I love the inspiration drawn from Roman times as well.
Thank you! :D
Nothing to Sneeze At
...this was so sweetly romantic I read it again looking for a carefully hidden horrific subtext. Was Karen really a serial killer? Was Dan her victim? Or did Marc become unhinged with grief at the end of their relationship that he went out, got very drunk and fucked a Malamute under the intoxicated impression it was a cute guy changed shape? The answers to all of the questions appears to be No. Although I still have my suspicions around Karen. “Damn it, Karen!”
So, I liked the foreshadowing of that first sneeze and the reflection on the old dog, and it’s cool how there’s a solution for that. It’s like the literal opposite of one of the old tragedies where two folks fall in love and something prevents them being together.
I loved this line,
“His fangs were bared, and his growl was scaring the shit out of me, even though he was defending me. I hoped he was defending me.”
‘cos this is the part where in a dark ending story that things would get bleak, and instead you get hope realised and it’s awesome. Also, romance aside, the sex was hot; good build up! 'cos, you know, I look at a lot of this stuff from a porn perspective even when it's clearly literary erotica.
Outreach - InvidiaRed
It was nice seeing iteration pi return. A bit of formatting to the poetry would do it nicely (ie, indent it).
Chrismas, Bloody Christmas - TCR
Are we in a contest for the deadliest Christmas? I batted a thousand plus. Overall, strong, felt like I was there, living, breathing it in. Good job.
Jello
The bit at the start was pretty hot, earning that fingering tag but also the general concept. I liked that! Then I didn't really get why the guy waiting outside was naked, it's just there. I guess that's something that the universe explains more? Eye ball was a nice touch tho' Ending was pretty dark... at least there wasn't a dead dog too! I guess that's fundamentalist religion for ya, and well, loose ends do need the wrapping.
One thing - you've got the tags duplicated on the start, like they were copy/pasted twice, maybe need an edit? (I initially started the sentence as 'Minor point' instead of 'One thing' but I didn't want to give folks the wrong idea.)
Christmas, Bloody Christmas
Well, this was certainly a change of pace, and sure to remove any lingering hints of sacchirine sentiment left over from my tale! :D
I quite enjoyed the action, although I'll admit I found myself wondering exactly who the Captain and Lieutenant paid off to get their positions, because they certainly didn't end up in command based on merit. However, having been pregnant, I can assure you women are more that ready to kick ass towards the end of it. It might not work as well as we'd hope, but we are definitely cranky. So that part rang so very true, and I even dared to root fro Celeste, a bit.
Very nicely done, and thank you!
Jello By Desiderius Price
Talk about family drama. And I thought my relatives were judgy. Nice little slice of holiday intrigue pie. Good job!
Nothing to Sneeze At by BronxWench
Okay, so for some reason, I've discovered that, since this is like the third time I'm doing it, your particular style of wordsmithing requires I read it with an accent. For this story, I started out with a basic elegant Englishman, but as I learned about the MC, it morphed into Cockney, and for a few paragraphs there, South African, for some reason.
Anyway, while I was reading I jotted down a few notes. I'm lazy, so I'm not going to try to edit them into a proper review, I'm just gonna plunk em down here:
"having the kind of sex which makes the neighbours leave embarrassed little notes under the door the next day, long after they were sure you'd left for work."
- I don't think I can move on with my life until I know what exactly those notes say.
- I'll never get the image of a saluting cock out of my head now. Now that image is wearing a top hat. What do top hats have to do with salutes? And now the cock is giving a tip of the hat.
- I love how impatient Ben seems in a nicely patient, good-natured kinda way. He's all smiley but I'm fairly certain he's really all 'seriously, are we still talking about this? Why do I still have my pants on?'.
Anyway, this story was fucking adorable. I think Ben is my favourite character I've read in a looong time because he's interesting without having to say much, he's intense, and somehow sexy and adorable at the same time. Beautiful job.