AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Halloween Party 2018

by PyTerato

person PyTerato
schedule October 22, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Review of Apprentice by GeorgeGlass

Ha! I like that story and all the comeuppance it delivers. Very fairy tale esque, which I'm also a fan of. Good job. 

person JayDee
schedule October 22, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Given the Minor1 code I will skip Adam the Altar Boy, personal taste and all that, but of course I am sure it will appeal to others! Be a funny old world if we were all the same, right? Good job on actually contributing for a Halloween story, it's more than some of us!

For Apprentice - Bwa ha ha, I could tell something was coming, but I had no idea it was that. Great little surprise/twist. Sofi is kind've like a dark Cinderella (deleted repost to clarify that this is an agreement with George's forum post!). Very Halloween. It's nice to see Sofi with a promising career ahead of her too - the messed up eyes for her new mentor are a very vivid image.

schedule October 22, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Scent of Brine

Wow! Just... wow! I was shivering by the end of this and in all the best ways. I am not always a fan of FF, but you wrote this so well that I devoured every word. I confess, I adore Concha. She is fierce, and fiery, and even with all she endured at the hands of Emory, she still could fight back. I loved that! No wonder Isolde wanted to keep her...

A super tale for hallowe'en! Thank you!!!

schedule October 22, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Adam the Altar Boy

There are times when I wonder what it would feel like to be part of an organized religion, as opposed to my usual solitary eclectic paganism. And then I read something like this and go leave some offerings for the gods and all the Sidhe. I guess Reverend Jordan got stuck on the "Suffer the little children" part, right after the ritual abuse sessions in the seminary.

Let's hope I don't have to attend anything at a Christian church for a while. I might grab the poor altar servers and run like the hells...

Well done!  Nicely chilling!

schedule October 22, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Apprentice

Honestly, every time I read on of your stories, I find myself just that perfect bit jealous of your talent. This story has a wonderful delicacy, a very deceiving gentleness to it despite the abuse of Sofi by her sisters, and even the sexual content is sweetly done. But talk about still waters running deep... Sofi quite surprised me, both by her determination to research everything, and by her bloodthirsty bit of revenge. Very, VERY nice, and I think I'll go edit some more before I submit mine. 

Thank you, for a wonderful story!

schedule October 22, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Scent of Brine

Nice bit of nautical horror. I like that Concha isn't just the passive recipient of abuse; it felt more real that she actually yells at her husband when the situation demands it. I also like the misdirect of Concha thinking Isolde is a ghost before we find out more. And the ending was satisfying.

schedule October 21, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Apprentice -- GeorgeGlass

Interesting.  Sofi didn't seem too disappointed about her sisters, so was she a bit more devious and she have this planned all along?

person JayDee
schedule October 21, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Scent of Brine -

Great atmosphere throughout, The description of Isolde's appearance is great. I liked how Concha got pissed off with the "you'll all be dead" messages after the third or so time. Kissing the wrong sister, heh. But yeah, for a first FF scene near the end there it was pretty damn good, but what an ending... that frickin' curse eh?

Couple typos/missing words stood out in case ya want to fix 'em :)

"her did not sway." - missing word
"Panic gripped at here heart." here for her

person PyTerato
schedule October 20, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Review for "Adam the Altar Boy" by Desiderius Price

Jesus flipping Christ that was sad! And dark! And jeez he was just doing everything he was supposed to: Father Jordan seriously needs to learn about picking his goddamn battles. Like really. 

schedule October 19, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Scent of Brine,

Trippy.  So, is it a sign that my first reading of her name was "conception?"