The Creeper Part Two
This one hit on the reason I never wanted to go to some university on a large campus. I felt so much safer in New York City than I would have anywhere else. My heart went out to Grace, really--there isn't anyplace safe for her, at all, between random drunken jocks and her ever so diligent and madly homicidal stalker. The scariest part is how all the things we as women are taught to do don't work for Grace. Knife? Pepper spray? Knee to the balls? Nope, honey, unless you know a killer in the shadows...
Nice and chilling! Thank you!
Synth
This one was complex, layered, perplexing, and exhilerating. I'm really not sure which POV tugged at me more. I think it was a close call between the grief of Iteration, and the sacrifice of Ur Dragon. That last line... "As the ocean tasted dragon blood." Just wonderful, and while not what I'd call traditional horror, it was just as terrifying and intriguing.
Beautiful! Thank you!
Eve of Hollow Souls
Oh, now this was a delicious little bloodbath of a tale! I love the Roman touches, and the religious conflicts inherent in any occupation. In truth, the Romans would have ruled the world if they hadn't lost sight of the need to embrace the local faiths. I adored the Sluagh, given that I'm mostly Irish and quite fond of the Sídhe. You married the Roman elements and the Irish elements wonderfully!
Thank you!
Synth
A bit repetitive, but I like the combination of fantasy and scifi. I also enjoyed the way that Synth (like a benevolent version of Skynet) weaponizes construction vehicles to defend its creators.
Eve of Hollow Souls
An effective take on the classic “diss the local religion at your peril” theme. I especially liked the way you semi-subverted this theme at the very end by having Anora taken up into the light -- showing that her beliefs are as valid as those of the natives. I didn't see that coming.
Scent of Brine.
Quite interesting, refreshing if morbid. pearl diving indeed.
I have to skip this particular due to personal preference. Adam the alter boy =N/a
3.Apprentice. Alternate title how to murder three girls with attraction perfume and ensure there are no bodies.
4. Creeper part two. Is it really paranoia if she really was there the whole time?
5. Synth= N/A
7. Eve of Hollow Souls. Delightful and a history lesson all wrapped up in one. Just because you conquered it. Does not mean you understand the land or its ways. Its always murky when divinties war with one another. Yet, I'm in favor of not being butched by demons/undead and or both.
Synth by InvidiaRed
Your writing style is quite unique. I was uncertain about it at first, but as I got into the story, I found that this unconventional, robotic voice you took on for this was effective in establishing the atmosphere. There were some technical issues. Mostly just missing punctuation and some sentences that could be simplified to help the reader follow the chaos. In all, it was a fascinating read, but Jesus Christ, poor dragons! Them fucking robot rods! Great job InvidiaRed!
Eve of Hollow Souls by Sinfulwolf
First thing I noticed was the little details every now and then that helped breathe life into your story and your characters. Like Anora looking to the Centurion for comfort in the woods and instead, finding him on edge. It's hard to describe what I love about those little things, but when they're done right, and you certainly do them right, they're a crucial part of elevating a story's realism.
I love the themes in this story. The war, the religion, the army of the dead. It all makes for a dark, atmospheric fantasy, perfect for Halloween. I love it. Even that brief reprieve with Lydia was beautifully sensual and done so well it did nothing to break the flow of the horror, only to grant your reader a breath. I'd also like to mention your skill with characters. I don't know if you ever worry about making Mary Sues, but your characters are so expertly flawed and strong. Depicting believable women and bringing them to life with your writing style is definitely one of your strengths.
Scent of Brine: It reads like a good tale of the sea. Murder and revenge. Cursed ones, and the ships they haunt. As one goes through it certainly turns into ‘humanity is the true monsters’ sort of tale. It worked well. The rapes were interestingly written as well I must say. You manged to hit a note somewhere between disgust and just that numb bitterness.
I think the only thing I’d really say to improve is make it clear the ship was navy, and who exactly was in the captain’s quarters. You said the men were drinking, but the men were also outside. If naval, maybe using the word officers, and the men or sailors were outside.
All in all, loved your little foray into F/F. That particular scene was quite well written in many ways. Especially in how she didn’t quite know what was happening with her body. Well done all round.
Adam the Altar Boy: I’ll be honest, I somewhat skimmed the story, especially the opening. The content made me wholly uncomfortable and squirmy. It is well written though, and in it’s own way utterly terrifying because of how close to reality it felt at times. Despite it being set in what seemed a very dystopic alternate reality. Only noticed one spelling mistake, and that was when Pete said “Dam.” Should really be “Damn”.
That ending though. That was a dark hammer home, and I rather liked it.
Apprentice: A nice little twisted fairy tale that seems at home with the brother’s Grimm of yore. I rather liked the Greek influence in here as well. Well written, with a good solid ending that I didn’t see coming. Well done all around.
Creeper Part 2: Nice little recap for those who struggled to remember, and those who’ve not read the original. This made perfect sense. Good little portrait of PTSD, and the fear that can be all consuming to someone who has it. I think the only thing I want to point out is the repeated use of the word blood towards the end. It started to stand out a touch.
Synth: An interesting style indeed. But the opening relies very heavily on repetition. This almost feels too big a world, with too many wildly varying view points for a short story such as this. I couldn’t get connected to any of the characters, and barely had time to register who was who before we switched PoV again. I think this is something that could be great if expanded upon in a full story.
Adam the Altar Boy
I'm left with a few questions:
Is “processing” death, imprisonment, or some kind of brainwashing?
How did putting headphones on Adam kill him? Or did they brainwash him or something, and Father Jordan lied to Oliver when he said that Adam had ascended? Or does “ascended” mean something other than “died”?
Creeper Part 2
Before I started reading, I couldn't remember whether I'd read part 1, but the couple of summary sentences you placed early in the story brought it all back. So thanks for including that.
What a mixed blessing it is to have a guardian monster. But one wonders what kind of monster she is. In “Stalker,” Senna seemed to be human, but “Creeper” makes it seem like there might be more to her. It also seems like Senna might have plans for Grace. If so, I'm curious to find out what they are. Will there be a part 3 next year?
In any case, thanks for a short, sweet, Halloweenish read.