Okay, so, first off, I went through all three chapters in one sitting, so I’ll break them into chapters.
Chapter 1:
Simple statement: I liked it.
The characters are done well. I like the interactions between Evilyn and Vikki. The interactions between Luke and Eric were just like a pair of horny high school guys. It was a good set up and introduction to the characters and an insight into them as well.
Chapter 2:
Chapter 2 sets up the scenario. It’s quite an interesting build up to tension. Little things that no one would have thought twice about if they had seen it or would have just been like ‘meh’. Then it escalates and everything goes to Hell. You’ve written it out well enough that the tension fits in.
As a bit of nitpick (and take with a grain of salt, as it may just be me), but might I recommend Italics for someone talking (in this case) through the television. Like I said, it may just be me, so ignore it if you wish.
Chapter 3:
This chapter fills in details and does so in a way that I found benefits the overall plot thus far. At least, I felt so. It’s an interesting tale thus far and I look forward to reading more of it.
I shall definitely be keeping an eye on this one.