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August 5, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 1
What a wonderful start to this story, and I'm loving a chance to get to know more about Matt and Payne after meeting them in "Loving Sarajevo." It's certainly off to a lively start, and I can't wait to see how this one rolls out!
What a wonderful start to this story, and I'm loving a chance to get to know more about Matt and Payne after meeting them in "Loving Sarajevo." It's certainly off to a lively start, and I can't wait to see how this one rolls out!
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August 5, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Chapters 2-7
So much for reviews after each chapter, but I couldn't stop reading. You capture Payne's attack and the aftermath very well, and it's utterly wrenching to see the bubbly young man of Chapter 1 reduced to a panic-stricken victim. The odd connection between Payne and Matt is very well done, and the fact that neither of them can come up with a rationale for it adds to the verisimilitude. I think, given the subject matter, your spare writing style serves both you and the story well.
I will wait for future chapters eagerly, because I'm already deeply invested in this pair, which is no small accomplishment. You've done a marvelous job, and I can't wait to see what you have in store.
So much for reviews after each chapter, but I couldn't stop reading. You capture Payne's attack and the aftermath very well, and it's utterly wrenching to see the bubbly young man of Chapter 1 reduced to a panic-stricken victim. The odd connection between Payne and Matt is very well done, and the fact that neither of them can come up with a rationale for it adds to the verisimilitude. I think, given the subject matter, your spare writing style serves both you and the story well.
I will wait for future chapters eagerly, because I'm already deeply invested in this pair, which is no small accomplishment. You've done a marvelous job, and I can't wait to see what you have in store.
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July 4, 2015 at 12:00 AM
**Chapter 7**
Especially for this first ‘real’ meeting, I savoured this particular chapter.
Understood and appreciated the way in which you stated this link between them without hesitation to an audience of importance. It has established them as ‘something’ right away. Now we have to see how each of the parties involved perceives that ‘something’ and that is where I believe things may prove difficult for them, as already indicated.
Payne spoke his clear demand to go with Matt displaying a rise in his emotional strength and subconsciously moving toward the world he was once determinedly pulling away from. And now with the visit to the hospital, a world he has too fully concede to being part of no matter how abhorrent the association.
Looking forward to the case gaining a little momentum, where I believe the true nature of this carnival of horror formed by his group may show carnage spanning a lengthy period.
Do look forward to more soon.
Especially for this first ‘real’ meeting, I savoured this particular chapter.
Understood and appreciated the way in which you stated this link between them without hesitation to an audience of importance. It has established them as ‘something’ right away. Now we have to see how each of the parties involved perceives that ‘something’ and that is where I believe things may prove difficult for them, as already indicated.
Payne spoke his clear demand to go with Matt displaying a rise in his emotional strength and subconsciously moving toward the world he was once determinedly pulling away from. And now with the visit to the hospital, a world he has too fully concede to being part of no matter how abhorrent the association.
Looking forward to the case gaining a little momentum, where I believe the true nature of this carnival of horror formed by his group may show carnage spanning a lengthy period.
Do look forward to more soon.
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July 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
You really shouldn't hate transition chapters unless you hate to write them, that's fine because this one was pretty cool since it was just building up certain relationships and showing us how the characters react and interact with each other. Loved that Payne managed to hug his mum, bet she was completly thrilled. You can so understand why they're all a bit weirded out by Matt though even if the poor bloke hasn't done anything (we are not counting thoughts that he might have had :D).
So anyway, it took me about three go's to read this chapter yesterday, not because it bad but I was having a bit of a cow and couldn't bring myself to read something that could be sad and serious and slightly depressing (that is not meant in a bad way). So spent all afternoon yesterday watching disney movies :) and that's why this review is late, squeezed in the reading and reviewing before having to go to bloody Iran AGAIN...hopefully I'll have something cute of yours to come back to when I return.
Hugs Aduial
So anyway, it took me about three go's to read this chapter yesterday, not because it bad but I was having a bit of a cow and couldn't bring myself to read something that could be sad and serious and slightly depressing (that is not meant in a bad way). So spent all afternoon yesterday watching disney movies :) and that's why this review is late, squeezed in the reading and reviewing before having to go to bloody Iran AGAIN...hopefully I'll have something cute of yours to come back to when I return.
Hugs Aduial
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July 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Love is a wonderful thing. Hope to read more soon.
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July 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Can't wait for the next chapter to see them interact together. Maybe he'll actually talk to him?
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July 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
This chapter was great! Poor Ralphie, I hope he makes it. That way he and Payne can heal together. Matt was sure taken for a loop when Payne saw him. So Stella is getting some side action? You go girl! But seriously I hope Ralpie pulls through. It would suck for Payne to have his friend die. May the basterds who hurt them have their cocks cut off and shoved up their ass. Or better yet have their cocks cut off and fed to dogs...to much? Sorry.
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July 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Has it occurred to anyone yet about the disk and what Payne kept saying and one of the rapist commenting on the giant and scared face at all??? I almost hope Ralphie wakes up if Payne says some thing to him... I can understand why Payne's Dad got upset with Matt but I just hope he gets over it and maybe they can ask Matt to maybe visit. OH and speaking of visits I wonder how that is going to go the one where Matt picks Payne up and where they go I wonder if the TV will be on and the weather man happens to be on while they are saying good bye to Ralphie... the one that participated in that fucked up scene.... Anywho Thank YOU for updating! Looking forward to your next chapter!
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July 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
What a fantastic chapter, CL! I was riveted from the first word.
It's been a while since I've heard 'tuckus' - love that word. My mom used to use it all the time. :)
Stella - what a little ho! lol Boffing the FBI dude, and not any FBI dude, but the head FBI dude! lol
I'm glad Payne finds comfort in Matt. Of course this has everything to do with Matt 'guarding his dreams'. I can see where his parents would be very upset that a total stranger is allowed to touch their son in his grief, but they can't.
I hope when Payne sees his friend it won't take him on a downwards spiral, not since he's been making progress. Maybe it'll have the opposite effect and he'll start talking again. Doubtful though.
It's been a while since I've heard 'tuckus' - love that word. My mom used to use it all the time. :)
Stella - what a little ho! lol Boffing the FBI dude, and not any FBI dude, but the head FBI dude! lol
I'm glad Payne finds comfort in Matt. Of course this has everything to do with Matt 'guarding his dreams'. I can see where his parents would be very upset that a total stranger is allowed to touch their son in his grief, but they can't.
I hope when Payne sees his friend it won't take him on a downwards spiral, not since he's been making progress. Maybe it'll have the opposite effect and he'll start talking again. Doubtful though.
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June 14, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Holy shit, CL! What a chapter!!
Now Ralphie's in a coma, Payne is close to a mental breakdown...how can Baz sleep at night knowing his asshole b/f and his dick friends are raping and torturing people! Especially Baz's own friends!!!
I can imagine how pissed Stella and Matt are since now the alphabet agencies (LOVE that: alphabet agencies), have been called in.
I'm so proud of Matt for coming out to Stella. "I'm so deep in the closet that I practically live in Narnia." Hysterical line! :) I wonder if Stella's late best friend from college was gay? I did get that impression...
And popcorn mixed with M&Ms? Ewwww! lol Is that like the new salt/sweet trend that's going on now?
Terrific chapter, CL! :)
Now Ralphie's in a coma, Payne is close to a mental breakdown...how can Baz sleep at night knowing his asshole b/f and his dick friends are raping and torturing people! Especially Baz's own friends!!!
I can imagine how pissed Stella and Matt are since now the alphabet agencies (LOVE that: alphabet agencies), have been called in.
I'm so proud of Matt for coming out to Stella. "I'm so deep in the closet that I practically live in Narnia." Hysterical line! :) I wonder if Stella's late best friend from college was gay? I did get that impression...
And popcorn mixed with M&Ms? Ewwww! lol Is that like the new salt/sweet trend that's going on now?
Terrific chapter, CL! :)