schedule
May 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM
omg...How are they going to get out of there?
schedule
May 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Wow, ill be waiting Fran update
schedule
May 11, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Miller is absolutely disgusting and of course he just sits back somewhere while they rape him and doesn't even try to warn him (yet again) or help in any way. Tobias should have done the smart thing and tried to run for it. Dying in the desert would have been the better option.
schedule
May 11, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Make that Levi* is disgusting I mixed up names in the first part.
schedule
May 9, 2015 at 12:00 AM
well that was very interesting I can't wait to read what happens next!
schedule
May 8, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Oh god. I'm really nervous about what's going to happen nex
schedule
May 8, 2015 at 12:00 AM
The Commander is really a prick. I hope he will change for better. Thanks for update
schedule
May 7, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Ahhhhhhh~
So I love the title, first. Because it alludes to so many different things. Obviously, the planet is a desert so there's that. But that's only the most visible one. There's also the fever that Levi has and the fact that his whole crew burned on the planet. It's so hellish, with all that heat and fire and, of course, the torment of the fever. I also really liked that you mentioned that it got cold at night because deserts are not always hot :c Just a little thing, but the small details make stuff important, right?
I like that there's this contrast between them already. Levi just seems so helpless, despite being the person that should be in charge and in command. I like that he has to sort of put his life in the hands of one of his subordinates and just...trust. It says a lot about Tobias that he worked so hard to save him and his back story seems really interesting and so richly developed. The whole world is richly developed and clearly well-researched with the mention of atrophy in space and monitoring birth rates and such. I like the sort of mystery~ behind who Tobias really is, as well. Kind of leaves you on your seat, makes you want more.
Levi has a well-developed voice as the narrator. You really get a feel for someone who is used to order and being in command and who maybe abuses that position sometimes (just the feeling I got from his refusal to listen to Tobias, despite admitting that he knows what he's doing and he's good at it). He's so tragic and despondent in this chapter, with good reason, of course. I like how his emotions don't cloud his logic though. He's still got a very firm grasp on reality. He's definitely the sort of person whose personality just screams "authority."
I really like it :3 I'm excited to read more!
So I love the title, first. Because it alludes to so many different things. Obviously, the planet is a desert so there's that. But that's only the most visible one. There's also the fever that Levi has and the fact that his whole crew burned on the planet. It's so hellish, with all that heat and fire and, of course, the torment of the fever. I also really liked that you mentioned that it got cold at night because deserts are not always hot :c Just a little thing, but the small details make stuff important, right?
I like that there's this contrast between them already. Levi just seems so helpless, despite being the person that should be in charge and in command. I like that he has to sort of put his life in the hands of one of his subordinates and just...trust. It says a lot about Tobias that he worked so hard to save him and his back story seems really interesting and so richly developed. The whole world is richly developed and clearly well-researched with the mention of atrophy in space and monitoring birth rates and such. I like the sort of mystery~ behind who Tobias really is, as well. Kind of leaves you on your seat, makes you want more.
Levi has a well-developed voice as the narrator. You really get a feel for someone who is used to order and being in command and who maybe abuses that position sometimes (just the feeling I got from his refusal to listen to Tobias, despite admitting that he knows what he's doing and he's good at it). He's so tragic and despondent in this chapter, with good reason, of course. I like how his emotions don't cloud his logic though. He's still got a very firm grasp on reality. He's definitely the sort of person whose personality just screams "authority."
I really like it :3 I'm excited to read more!