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May 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Thanks again for clearing some things up for me. This chapter was amazing, and I`m looking forward to another chapter. I can`t wait to see how Atara handle things. Also, looking forward to Emory and Kita story.
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
There will be a switch to Emory's PoV
yes i really want to read some chapter with Emory as main focus . thank you so much
yes i really want to read some chapter with Emory as main focus . thank you so much
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I am dead tired and was just ganna head to bed since today was a long day buuuuuuuuuut... I'm glad I checked back for this to see if it updated. I'm so sleepy I might fall asleep before reading it all (only about a quarter of the way in) but what I've read so far makes me really happy and excited. It's about time someone told them off and ditched that stupid rite.
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Oh my god! I love Mack's little dominant side! I'm glad he likes begging though, unlike Fox! As much as I love Fox! O.O
Very hot chapter!
And I can't wait for Emmy and Nikita's chapter because they are so totally a thing! ((Like a lamp or a journal! Lol loved that part!)) I love how Nikita is so spunky! But he isn't afraid to touch Em and I think that is just what he needs!
Very hot chapter!
And I can't wait for Emmy and Nikita's chapter because they are so totally a thing! ((Like a lamp or a journal! Lol loved that part!)) I love how Nikita is so spunky! But he isn't afraid to touch Em and I think that is just what he needs!
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I knew it wouldn't be long before he went into heat. I'm glad he had Mack to help him through. I'll bet Emory is gonna feel like crap about what he did later when he's more sane.
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
BEST CHAPTER EVERRRR XD Atara's heat was so unexpected, but I'm so happy he and Mack finally had some *cough* alone time. That was probably the hottest sex scene I've read on here in a looooong time. Kudos to you! I'm torn about Emory being the POV next chapter...I'm interested to see things through his eyes but at the same time I want more Atara and Mackenzie! Also, Nikita and Emory!?? They're a couple arent they? ;)
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
It is clear that Atara is the glorified son in this story. I can't believe that there is a tea to prevent pregnancy, and that it wasn't given to Emory. Damn he was in heat (raped), and why wouldn't you think it was a possibility of him getting pregnant. Wow, Atara really do love his brother more than anything in this world even his parents. Really, look at how he was ready to hurt his brother over a man he barely knows. Regardless of his heat, he shouldn't have wanted to hurt his brother. OMG, he was only trying to protect him. This story is so unfair, but what can you expect when it is all about the glorified son Atara. Can't have Atara getting pregnant oh no we can not have that.
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I could go on and on about this chapter. I cannot believe Atara brought up the fact that he and Mack saved Emory’s life regardless of his heat that was a low blow. Then again maybe not, after all he is the glorified son. Also, I can’t believe Nikita would shoot an arrow at Emory no matter what. So, unrealistic that Emory would seek affection from someone who just shot an arrow at him. Maybe not, after all he is pictured as second best. I’m just venting my frustrations.
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I don't often review things. Any things. Amazon and hotels.com hate me for it. I guess I'm a greedy bastard. Anyway, I stumbled upon ALOGAK, enjoyed the entire thing very much, and then quickly read up on the other things you've posted. (Side note: You totally need to update those, too. I feel like you've ripped my guts out and dangled them over a great chasm with Finn and Arkady, and I need you to fix that, stat.) I'm thoroughly enjoying this story, too, and probably would have just enjoyed in silence had I not accidentally clicked the reviews button.
I'm happy for all of the gushing praise you've received. Some of the silly complaints annoyed me enough to make me review, though. I have an advanced degree in the field of creative writing, and it is what I do professionally. Take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I want you to know the lens through which I view this.
Your writing is great.
Characterization is solid and consistent. There isn't fluff; any squishy bits are there only when the character has the emotional authority to have those moments, making them utterly believable. Your conflict, too, is incredibly well written. Not only in the overall plot scheme, which you blend beautifully into the personal narrative that compels us (not something everyone does well), but also in the minor and relational interactions. Specifically, I love that Nikita was the one who stopped Emory. In many ways he was the only one in the scenario who could. You perfectly captured the dilemma through Atara's emotional response, and those of us who know Fox and Cyril should easily have transferred the conceptual struggle to the fathers. Nikita is the only one who could see him clearly, I think, and he was uniquely equipped to catch his attention. It also builds on the intimacy we have only seen hinted at between them, especially with the nickname. You have a fantastic knack for keeping the whole world turning while we are focused on different characters, and catching us up with beautiful subtly.
Atara's anguish is perfectly sensible, given what we have learned about heat and given the entire circumstances. I think the previous reviewer who complained about that is overlooking the compounding stress Emory has caused, intentional or not. Atara has and is facing a lot of shit for him. Threatening to gut his love interest is just the cherry on top, damn. And it isn't even like he is thinking clearly. He's experiencing this crazy physiological change for the first time ever, and trying to cope with the aftermath of Emory's dramatics. Let him brood. Emory can't be coddled forever, and we never get the impression that Atara hates him. The opposite, in fact - we know they'll be okay. People don't always get along in real life, they often make poor emotional choices. That's realistic. Thanks for making your characters dimensional.
You do such a good job world building. I can't wait to see what comes of this. I imagine the little Atara cult plays in more, and I can't imagine we have seen the last of the old farts Atara kicked off the council. And! Call me sentimental, but far, far from now, I really want to see a baby MackAtara. So much cuteness.
Anyway, keep up the good work. You're fantastic, and if you ever write with others and want a co-author, let me know. ;)
I'm happy for all of the gushing praise you've received. Some of the silly complaints annoyed me enough to make me review, though. I have an advanced degree in the field of creative writing, and it is what I do professionally. Take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I want you to know the lens through which I view this.
Your writing is great.
Characterization is solid and consistent. There isn't fluff; any squishy bits are there only when the character has the emotional authority to have those moments, making them utterly believable. Your conflict, too, is incredibly well written. Not only in the overall plot scheme, which you blend beautifully into the personal narrative that compels us (not something everyone does well), but also in the minor and relational interactions. Specifically, I love that Nikita was the one who stopped Emory. In many ways he was the only one in the scenario who could. You perfectly captured the dilemma through Atara's emotional response, and those of us who know Fox and Cyril should easily have transferred the conceptual struggle to the fathers. Nikita is the only one who could see him clearly, I think, and he was uniquely equipped to catch his attention. It also builds on the intimacy we have only seen hinted at between them, especially with the nickname. You have a fantastic knack for keeping the whole world turning while we are focused on different characters, and catching us up with beautiful subtly.
Atara's anguish is perfectly sensible, given what we have learned about heat and given the entire circumstances. I think the previous reviewer who complained about that is overlooking the compounding stress Emory has caused, intentional or not. Atara has and is facing a lot of shit for him. Threatening to gut his love interest is just the cherry on top, damn. And it isn't even like he is thinking clearly. He's experiencing this crazy physiological change for the first time ever, and trying to cope with the aftermath of Emory's dramatics. Let him brood. Emory can't be coddled forever, and we never get the impression that Atara hates him. The opposite, in fact - we know they'll be okay. People don't always get along in real life, they often make poor emotional choices. That's realistic. Thanks for making your characters dimensional.
You do such a good job world building. I can't wait to see what comes of this. I imagine the little Atara cult plays in more, and I can't imagine we have seen the last of the old farts Atara kicked off the council. And! Call me sentimental, but far, far from now, I really want to see a baby MackAtara. So much cuteness.
Anyway, keep up the good work. You're fantastic, and if you ever write with others and want a co-author, let me know. ;)
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April 30, 2015 at 12:00 AM
this story is greatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt