rate_review Reviews

I really do like the idea of this story and your edits help a lot. If you need someone to read through to help with grammar issues, give me a holler. I think this story could be really good if you just had a beta. You can send me a message in the forums if you'd like or my email is bangbangramallama@gmail.com

I really like the begining! Can't wait for the next chapter :)

Hey :) Getting better there :D I'm excited to know what will happen next, though there are quite a few grammar mistakes, and I think, you forgot to edit the end of the chapter :) It would be nice if you could write shorter sentences. They don't have to be three-word sentences, but their current length is a bit disturbing, it makes the flow of the story too fast. Did you find someone to read through your chapters before posting them? If not, just hit the forums, I'm sure someone will gladly help. Good luck ;)

dear

your story is great great great

i love dom and sub stories and stories which subs are under control of their doms

i hope our sub find a big possessive dom

HELLO

ONLY ONE CHAPTER AND IT SOUND SO GOOD AND PROMISING . I LIKE YOUR STORY IT IS NEW BLUE HAIR AND RED HAIR . I LIKE THIS PART [My father Chaim who is 35 wasn’t allowed to go out without permission from my sir Leor] IT SHOWS YOUR STORY IS NOT SOME VANILLA DOM AND SUB STORY WHICH DOM ARE SO KIND AND SUBS CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT.

I PREFER FIRM DOM AND YOUR DOMS SOUND LIKE FIRM DOM

UPDATE SOON PLEASE