rate_review Reviews

Just two chapter and I fell in love with your story. Keep up the great work :)

This is making me sad already, but I really want to know what happens next

I didn't see anything grammatically incorrect with this story, (although I wasn't looking very hard, just did a read-through, so there's nothing glaring anyways), just some slightly odd syntax, but I wouldn't change that anyways. It gives the impression that the person telling the story is foreign, at least to my american mind, so I kind of like it. Adds flavor. As to the content, I don't mind a darker story every now and then as long as there is a little light at the end, but that's all stylistic and ultimately up to you at this point, now on to some actual critiques :D. I did notice you said Joshua was a distant cold person, and you did kind of express it through him thinking of how to turn down Mari, but later on he thought about how he came out, so it could have been for that reason alone. I guess what I'm getting at is try to express his characterization through some actual interaction with other characters next time, a little more dialogue and perhaps a little bit less description so I can get a better feel for the type of person he his. Even though I do understated that it is necessary to describe so that we readers have a clear vision of the setting. I did however find his thoughts about his family interesting, maybe in the future we can get some flashbacks to certain interactions that shaped his current sate of mind. Also I'm thinking this is going in one direction, and I'm kind of interested in seeing what you could come up with so I'll say it here so you can't use it :P. I'm thinking that Ronny set him up, knowing his brother would come for him, and you kind of already reinforced this by Ronny and Baruch agreeing too quickly (to his mind) about the deal. Now I'm not opposed to a set-up per se, especially as having someone else at your advantage very easily leads to good smexing times, but maybe you could twist it up a bit, maybe write something that leaves him on a little more even footing, say he discovers a secret that he could use as leverage and he has to struggle with if it is worth tipping his hand to try and free himself. Will they kill him for it? Anyways just my humble opinion. Very eager to see what you come up with.

Wow, I love stories like this and Under Blue Skies has me hooked with just reading two chapters. I felt bad for Ronny and hope he gets help. I can understand why Josh feels the way he does towards his family and to give him credit he still looks out for his kid brother. I just hope Josh and Ronny can work things out between them. I am worried for what's to come but looking forward to finding out.

This is an interesting story. I'm kind of wondering now what keeps motivating Josh to take care of his family, if he really doesn't want anything to do with them. I'm also really surprised Josh isn't more suspicious of the guy in the suit, he knows it sounds more than fair...I guess I can chalk it up to Josh's being tired.

Can't wait till the next update :)