rate_review Reviews

Oh my gooooddd
Whats gonna happennnn
Its going to be so hard to wait for the next update now

Oh my goodness, two teasers you have left me with this chapter. Two!

1] The revelation that Duro won't meet with Tito's wife ... What? Does Tito die? Does Duro get sold? Theirs isn't to be a 'happy ever after'? Now you really do have me on tether hooks.

2] The introduction of a new character and, a cliff hanger! ... Why has Duro been singled out to remain behind? What is the purpose of having him stay? Perhaps simply because Valens wants to learn more about Tito? But why would a slave want to know about him?

I love how you keep me guessing, heh.

Okay, only one small thing I noticed to bring to your attention...

“Afraid he’ll being up Flavo?” ..... bring, instead of being?

And now I guess I'll just have to go back to bugging you through the week to keep a hold of that muse :D

Wait, what point was Valens trying to make asking all those questions?

It must have been awful; looking forward to the future, yet dreading what tomorrow might bring. I guess poor Duro really is living for today.
As for Tito, I still think he's a coward, for not standing up to his men. Although, I suppose he is afraid to show any weak link in his armour for fear they might stab him there.
My admiration for Sten is growing by the chapter. He is emerging as a silent hero.

Only one teeny tiny detail I want to draw your attention to... “Not directly. But he… I think he was responsible for Felen’s accident.

You forgot the closing speech brackets. Oh and a little further down there was a gap in the wording. But that's all :D

Now I have to wait in anticipation to find out how the slave fares once he meets with his master's wife. Will she be welcoming, or will she be wrathful? Or will Tito totally surprise us all and either free Duro, or ensure he is given to a good home? It's going to be interesting either way!

I just read all of this in one go! I don't think the summary and even opening chapter really give away the quality of this. Even though you write in first person, Duro's a bit enigmatic and rather quiet in his thoughts - which I appreciate, because "loud" first person narrators can be overbearing, and it kind of fits Duro's personality. He's strong in that he is very disciplined, but the story gradually shows just how vulnerable he is, too. For me, I had to get a couple chapters in before I adjusted to your style, which I really love - almost like a collection of short vignettes in a quite subdued tone, where each scene is short and doesn't usually have an extraordinary amount of detail. Which is why I think the beginning took a little getting used to for me, because I didn't really know the characters or what was going on. I don't really mean that as criticism, since after getting used to it the style works amazingly. Especially, as I said, because it suits Duro's personality, sort of quiet, uncertain, without trying to draw too much attention to itself. I also love the Roman setting, you've done a great job breathing life into the world of, what, the first century BCE? Some of the dialogue style kind of reminded me of the series Spartacus, if you've seen that. Anyway, this is an awesome story and I'm glad I gave it a try! I'm also really curious what will happen to Duro. Tito does have a dark side, and is clearly capable of seriously hurting Duro, so like Duro, I find it hard to completely trust him. Love the dynamic though, and can't wait to read the next chapter!

God it was an amazing update.
I kind of hate the way a man is judged by how harshly he treats his slave :o I maen, what a fucked up society.
When the ship boards and the crew gets off, I serisously don't know what to expect to happen.
Please update again soon!

this chapter is so sad :(

you are a good writer , your story is great . it would be good to take this story in a new level or maybe after this another story with Tito and his slave in Rome and city life and family life.

Wow, another awesome chapter, and one that leaves me fearing for Duro's future. Tito's also. Duro is 'coming out of his shell' more and more, and Tito appears to be falling in love with his little slave.
A few small things caught my eye. I'm thinking you were pre-occupied when you were writing this part...

Tito sighed and pulled up his chair to sit. “Apparently because I complained to Captain Mario about everything that was missing from down here. He insisted it was Clitis’ fault – that he’d given Clitis clear orders.”
He went quiet and I could feel him studying me. “You don’t believe that, do you?”
This time I met his eyes. “I… I think that Clitis does exactly as he is commanded, sir. He… he knows better than to disobey.”
Tito leaned back in his chair. “Those were my thoughts as well. But I couldn’t very well call the captain a lier.”

Firstly, you put a gap in between Tito's speech, indicating to the reader that it was Duro speaking next. And secondly, you spelt 'liar' wrongly. Like I said though, knowing you, life was yelling at you to get off the keyboard, and your fingers were typing like mad to get the words out of your mind, lol.

I can't wait to find out what hardships await the pair once they are on dry land again. Looking forward to the next update very much :D

OH NEW CHAPTER

new update of your story makes me happy . i hope they arrive to city at home soon . i can not wait to see Tito wife reaction