rate_review Reviews

Really good :) looking forward to part 20

Hey Jashley,

Holy shit man...

I was without internet for a while and as soon as I got it back I came to check on your stories and just WTF! Outrageous that some low life's in the world have nothing better to do than threat the life of a man and his family just because of his passion. Shocking that it should be allowed to happen and force you to take your stories down and then the website take down your stories too. I totally agree with your comments and others that stories with murder and rape are totally fine but people 'not of proper age' aren't allowed. I mean there is programs on the TV about pregnant teenagers normally of 16 years old and you can't write a fictional story. -.- I came back just at the right time to find you weren't totally giving up and found this new site to post and glad to see many of your faithful followers and crossed over too. Always know that there will be haters, I pray the extremists move away and leave you alone. Please keep up the fantastic writing and know that your work will always be appreciated and from reading some reviews, your stories mean a lot to some people.

Anyway to the story now that I have caught up. JUST WOW!! I had to catch up and read chapters 18 and 19 and those endings are just killing me haha. End of chapter 18 wasn't as bad because I could go straight onto the next one and find out the bad aftermath. But then that ending, its a lot different but still making me so desperate to find out what happens. It is a sad reality that peoples lives can turn so bad even though it is nothing of their doing. The one thing that went wrong in his life that was partly his fault was the fight between Jack and Craig was resolved and the two became friends and he had a little closure. I feel there is now three major things need to be solved in the next chapter, 1. will Kayla take Jack back (god i hope so) 2. whats the aftermath of the coach committing suicide and 3. how are things gonna be between Jack, Tara and Kayla... All of them are going to make the next couple of chapters so juicy and awesome to read. Cannot wait for chapter 20! Is there anyway you can keep us all updated for the new chapter? The new layout here seems different and we all want to read it as soon as it out.

No pressure though, take your time and keep up the fantastic work. I hope life for you gets better and you can concentrate on the things that make you happy.

All the best bigdiesel

Followed this series on that other place. Glad you found a new home for Jack and Kayla. I do hope things work with them, still wondering who her mystery texter is. You would think the "no secrets" would or should go both ways in their relationship, he's told her everything, but, she keeps hiding that away from him. Eagerly awaiting the next couple chapters to see how it all works out, especially if art imitates life and they work out like you and your wife do. Still an amazing storyline.

Well, I managed to find you on the new site. I missed chapter 19 when it first posted and was sincerely distressed to learn that some asinine jerk had made credible threats.

Your writing remains superb and the story is head and shoulders above the writing.

You have created a superbly intriguing story and one with all the ups and downs of life with perhaps a bit more distance between the peaks and valleys.

It's heart wrenching to see the rift between Jack and Kayla and then to have Coach Walburn kill himself while Jack is talking to him is an awful lot for a young man his age to deal with especially when he feels somehow responsible for Walburn being fired.

I'm looking forward to chapter 20. Your superb story telling skill coupled with excllent writing is thoroughly enjoyable.

Best wishes, Bill

i love your stories. please post the next one quickly. If you could give updates like you did on xnxx that would be great.

MAJOR BAD FEELS!!!!

I have been following your stories since chapter 3 came out. I love your writing and I was pissed as FUCK when they wouldn't let your stories out. Please oh PLEASE make the next chapter slightly happier? It would obviously be very difficult but i feel as if someone put a hand through my gut and just won't. let. go. I know what it's like to have been cheated on- and the nausea that accompanied the first time I found out about it came back while I was reading this chapter. You are amazing, but right now my pulse is at an all time high and my heart is plunging down to me stomach. I bet Brad would be happy now, fuckingpieceofshit. CHAPTER TWENTY SOON!! PLEASE!!!!!

I've followed over here to offer some thoughts...on to Part 19.

I like to analyze characters as they are written. I do not suggest future plot lines, but have pointed out things like "this is where we are...what choices will the character make?"

Early on I had asked, how would Jack handle losing Kayla? Now we have that situation. It's only been a day and a half so far, but there's an arctic chill on the relationship as Jack has to be patient, and to trust, that Kayla will work her way through the situation and come back to him.

Jack is, for the first time, facing the potential loss of the woman he loves. He thinks he has it rough (typical teenager!) Then he has a chance meeting with Coach Walburn, and sees how much worse life can really be, that his troubles are tiny in comparison. Coach's son is dead, his wife has left him, and he's lost his job. Christmas is a time that so many are prone to suicide, and Coach doesn't want to deal with life anymore.

The same week I read this I saw the SVU episode where Rollins is trying to talk down the young rapist who was holding school girls hostage. She offers herself in exchange, is trying to build a rapport, gets closer, is almost there - then BAM! the guy's head explodes from a sniper's bullet and Rollin's face is splattered with the perp's blood from an event she did not anticipate. Rollins was a professional, but she was clearly traumatized.

I see Jack in the same situation. He's just seen a man die feet in front of him and may likewise been hit by the spray of blood. I'm certain this sixteen year old boy is totally freaked out. How does Jack respond? Does he resolve to never let things get as bad as Coach? (But weren't these things beyond Coach's control?) Will Jack pull himself up, or be dragged down? How Jack responds to this event will determine the entire rest of his life.

Great job with this one. Can't wait until next one
10/10 would bang:*

hi, i just want to tell you how happy i am that you posted She's The One here ... usually i check your page on xnxx every week to see if you updated and i was quite devastated to hear about the threats that you've been getting ... personally i think it was just a troll who wanted to coerce you into getting the story out of xnxx , but you did good taking it down and thinking about your safety ... i've been reading your story since you started and i'm glad that you found a way to continue ...

I actually found this story on my own, you said to find it that we would have to pm you, but after 10 minutes I found my favourite story from xnxx, nice chapter, morbidly humorous ending (to me anyway). Hope you update soon! -Z3non