schedule
July 30, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Great, as always! I really enjoy where this is going. Thank you so much! :)
schedule
July 24, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Really nice story! Please update!
schedule
June 24, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This is awesome! Some spelling errors here or there, and Mike and Kyle are suppose to be the same employee...but have two different names.
Looking forward to chapter four! So excited.
Looking forward to chapter four! So excited.
schedule
June 20, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This is an interesting story.
Some mistakes I've seen though is for those who work at the arcade. First it was Mike in chapter 1 than it was Kyle in chapter 2. I'm pretty sure he only had one employee and you just mixed up the names.
Second is a sentence in chapter 3- "They both jerked a little, and Dominic cursed as he pushed away from Kevin and moved over to bring the phone to his year." It should be ear not year. Not a big mistake but I figured you'd like to know.
Anyway- this is still an interesting story :)
Some mistakes I've seen though is for those who work at the arcade. First it was Mike in chapter 1 than it was Kyle in chapter 2. I'm pretty sure he only had one employee and you just mixed up the names.
Second is a sentence in chapter 3- "They both jerked a little, and Dominic cursed as he pushed away from Kevin and moved over to bring the phone to his year." It should be ear not year. Not a big mistake but I figured you'd like to know.
Anyway- this is still an interesting story :)
schedule
June 19, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter, happy that you updated.
schedule
June 19, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I usually dont go for grungy type subs, but I like this a LOT for some reason. :) Something a little rough around the edges seems like fun1!
schedule
June 19, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I'm impressed. The dialogue is so well done. More, pleaase!
schedule
June 19, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Awesome! I hope Marcus bites it, though.
schedule
June 19, 2014 at 12:00 AM
yay! I love this story :)thanks so much for updating.
I cant wait to read it.
I cant wait to read it.
schedule
April 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM
very good