schedule
March 30, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Very good. I like it so far.
schedule
March 24, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Excellent opening, though you oscillate between past and present tense into the first two chapters. You have a typo problem, if you could find a beta editor this could be cleaned up and shiny very quickly.
I like Zack, I like Alexa, like I'm supposed to. However I think it'll take some time for them to really flesh out. The side characters even more so.
I'm glad you're taking time to build before you begin with the erotica side of the story. The pace is good in general. Breaking up you're compound sentences might help set a rhythm to the words.
All in all, it's a very promising start. Keep writing, keep improving.
I like Zack, I like Alexa, like I'm supposed to. However I think it'll take some time for them to really flesh out. The side characters even more so.
I'm glad you're taking time to build before you begin with the erotica side of the story. The pace is good in general. Breaking up you're compound sentences might help set a rhythm to the words.
All in all, it's a very promising start. Keep writing, keep improving.