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by GeorgeGlass

person Yahegai
schedule March 23, 2023 at 12:00 AM

It was really kind of her dad to give her what she wanted. Another magnificent story

schedule April 14, 2021 at 12:00 AM

It a pity Mariel's mother died, but at least now it seems her and her father will have a loving and hot relationship together.  

schedule May 17, 2020 at 12:00 AM

Bravo!  I love it when you write this kind of story! It's Like you are writing it straight to me!

schedule May 1, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Wow. That was incredibly hot. Xoxo Robin
person Anon
schedule October 28, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Quite good, would very much like to see a second chapter with some more foreplay and active involvement from the daughter.
schedule July 22, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Excellent.
person Victoria
schedule July 11, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I don't know how to add you as a fav Author but I'd love to. I am hoping to read more from you soon. Specialy this kind of stories.
schedule April 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM
(Typing up this review again. Between the recaptcha and whatever internet black hole my reviews pass through, it's like I have to keep plugging away at it for a bit before they'll get submitted properly)

This was a nice, sexy short story, and I enjoyed it a lot. Good grammar and spelling, and if there's anything glaring there then I was too much into the story to really notice.

I felt that certain parts could have used some expansion, a little more show, a little less tell. The parts that stay in mind are the part where he's musing about how her scent reminds him of his wife (good opportunity for back story / character development there) and the part where, post-"rape," he says, "You know I love you, right?" -- this right here is a very good place to expand on their relationship and lay the groundwork for developing it.

I felt the ending would have been a lot sexier if she'd responded with "Yes, Daddy," instead of just "Okay." Since he's already clearly the dominant partner here, I felt a little overt, if perhaps unintentional, submissiveness on her part would have heightened the kink meter.

Overall, this was a very nice sexy short story. I enjoyed it, will certainly come back to enjoy it again, and hope that you will someday revisit these characters.