AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Wish List

by GeorgeGlass

person Yahegai
schedule March 23, 2023 at 12:00 AM

It was really kind of her dad to give her what she wanted. Another magnificent story

schedule April 14, 2021 at 12:00 AM

It a pity Mariel's mother died, but at least now it seems her and her father will have a loving and hot relationship together.  

schedule May 17, 2020 at 12:00 AM

Bravo!  I love it when you write this kind of story! It's Like you are writing it straight to me!

schedule May 1, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Wow. That was incredibly hot. Xoxo Robin
person Anon
schedule October 28, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Quite good, would very much like to see a second chapter with some more foreplay and active involvement from the daughter.
schedule July 22, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Excellent.
person Victoria
schedule July 11, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I don't know how to add you as a fav Author but I'd love to. I am hoping to read more from you soon. Specialy this kind of stories.
schedule April 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM
(Typing up this review again. Between the recaptcha and whatever internet black hole my reviews pass through, it's like I have to keep plugging away at it for a bit before they'll get submitted properly)

This was a nice, sexy short story, and I enjoyed it a lot. Good grammar and spelling, and if there's anything glaring there then I was too much into the story to really notice.

I felt that certain parts could have used some expansion, a little more show, a little less tell. The parts that stay in mind are the part where he's musing about how her scent reminds him of his wife (good opportunity for back story / character development there) and the part where, post-"rape," he says, "You know I love you, right?" -- this right here is a very good place to expand on their relationship and lay the groundwork for developing it.

I felt the ending would have been a lot sexier if she'd responded with "Yes, Daddy," instead of just "Okay." Since he's already clearly the dominant partner here, I felt a little overt, if perhaps unintentional, submissiveness on her part would have heightened the kink meter.

Overall, this was a very nice sexy short story. I enjoyed it, will certainly come back to enjoy it again, and hope that you will someday revisit these characters.

Age Verification Required

This website contains adult content. You must be 18 years or older to access this site.

Are you 18 years of age or older?