If this had happened in real life those bullies should be arrested and taken to a gulag in Soviet Siberia on top of being boiled in oil. But since this is complete fiction you should definitely be slathered with warm massage oil by busty Norwegian girls, then get a nice long sex session with as many of those busty Norwegian girls as you want
Your closing thought is right: Things could have gone much better for the girl. The verbal and emotional abuse they heaped upon the poor little girl felt quite real and gripping, and the way it transitioned into sexual abuse was so "natural" it was scary. Kyle and Jay were perfect rotten little scoundrels, and their instincts were great for escalating things so they could get worked up for a powerful release.