rate_review Reviews

HI~!!!! Thanks Lorddy! my email is Mylillys@gmail.com.

Okay, so I haven't actually read this yet, but I would strongly suggest paragraphing (maybe you had problems with AFF's interface?). That is just it's pretty difficult to read all that texts with no breaks (I get headaches looking at walls of text haha), so a lot more people will read your story if you edit in some paragraphs. It looks interesting though, so if you do that I will definitely read it :)

Thank you for reviewing! Um..I wish I knew how o.o. To be honest (IDK if I put this in the warnings at the top of the first ch.) but I tend to spew :(. I am looking for an editor (Or someone with a little grammar skills) but that may be sometime...

Honestly, when I first came across this story I did pass on it because it made my eyes cross when saw the endless lines of text, but with this new chapter, I did decide to read it (easier to read on a tablet with the reader mode) and I like the story. I think it's an interesting concept and I enjoyed what I've read so far. I really feel for Lesfer and the things he (and his brother) went through; I'll be really interested to seeing where this story goes and what Lesfer sentence will be.

I agree with lorrdy, this story would be a lot easier to read if you broke the words into chucks. Are you saying you don't know how to at all or don't know how to do it in AFF?

Thank you as well SneakySpy and to you both I am sincerely sorry. No I mean to say I do not know how to do it at all. Long story short I had a very bad background and was taken out of 2nd grade elementary school. It was not until I put myself through school that I found I had many mental problems as well. But I have always been good at reading but never was able to spell words correctly. Words that read so easily are hard to spell and I do not know when to end a paragraph lol the story was originally suppose to be sold via bookrix but with all my error's it would cost close to $700 for an editor to fix.

Hi, so this lorddy with my actual account (I have a bad habit of being too lazy to log in and leaving reviews with random names). Anyways, if you want, you can give me an email address, and I could put in some paragraphing for you to see how you like it. I took another look at the story and the spelling and grammar aren't actually that bad, but I could also point out any glaring errors I see in that area, although I do have a tendency for comma splices and iffy punctuation myself.