rate_review Reviews

I'm really into this story. I have to honestly say I can't even tell where the real love interest in going to be! Normally that would irk me, but I'm actually intrigued. I almost find him going back to Tad too easy and maybe unrealistic for this story line, but I also see Bryan as possibly being straight protective brother type. Laik seems like the choice for me, but I still can't decide where this may go! I want to see his new found powers develop along with his relationship and the plot line involving his trackers. 3 different developments out of many I can't wait to see evolve! Thanks for writing!

Ok, I have to say that I enjoy your writing style. You don't just rush into things, but you don't take forever and a day to get to the point. That's a VERY difficult thing to balance so kudos there. :) Your wording is good and you have a great grasp on grammar, excluding a few errors here and there and a lack of commas (which most people suck as using so it's ok).

The only real criticism I have is that you need to explain certain things more. Such as, in the scene where Kevin is telling Levi about Mediators, you can explain more about the general gist of them. We get almost no info about why they're important or what they do. I understand that you can't go into detail about Levi's personal abilities, but you can go over general concepts better.

Also, in your latest chapter, while I LOVE the pacing of it, you really need some kind of opening that explains what the hell happened between the cozy end scene from chapter 18 and the chaos of chapter 19. I actually got confused enough to have to jump back to chapter 18 to see what I missed. Maybe a quick blurb like "They never saw the attack until the truck was flipping over" at the end of the previous chapter or the others yell/explaining what happened during the run in the following chapter.

I hope my advice helps. Keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next installment! :)

I love these kind of stories! Thanks for deciding to share it with us. I am hooked and love the characters. If you haven't yet, check out Moon Lust by fusedtwilight right here on AFF too.

Oh, is his name Levi or Laik? In chapter 3 you were still using Levi then when his sister showed up it was suddenly changed to Laik so thought you would want to know. It's sort of confusing. Enjoyable story with some minor grammar/spelling issues so maybe you could check out the forum for a Beta to help you.

Never mind, I just realized Laik is a different character, lol. Sorry!