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February 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I like plot of the story (kind of) but thise spelling errors you have made takes the pleasure from reading it. Sorry.
I think the character could be much better too, now they are too flat ( and no one can be that stupid really).
You should get a beta or someone you can talk about this story.
I think the character could be much better too, now they are too flat ( and no one can be that stupid really).
You should get a beta or someone you can talk about this story.
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December 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ah the holidays... I haven't come online like in forever! wow I missed two chapters. Anyways I was wondering about her friend but I see you have mentioned her already. I hope Ramon will be okay... Oh and it would be awesome if Matt ends up liking her to! I think that would be hot, I loved it :) A response for the beta request, I'm sorry but I got too much on my plate right now... I really love this story and I would love too but I'm too busy sorry. Anyways awesome work as always Halia loved it :D
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December 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Finally got a chance to check for your updates, was tied up with finals degree student here lol. Anyways, wow bloody but its good and still hot as ever, lol. That sure was some dark stuff, I have only read novels about the mafia and that's as close to this kinda of stuff I ever came. I'm not one for blood but this is just so interesting and I liked it rather than being freaked. I am not sure what it is but it holds my attention. Great work Halia :D p.s. Thanks for the shout out I'm glad to comment because I like your work and want to see more :)
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December 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I know you said you'd answer questions in the story eventually but sooner is better than later because right now the story doesn't make sense on why it is the way that it is
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December 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
look I appreciate the shout out but you can't hold your story hostage for reviews. It doesn't work. Put something great out there and out of the 800 people who read it, 2 will feel compelled to say something. I never review. But the authors of the stories I read keep plugging away. Then one day after 18 chapters, I will let them know how much I have loved reading their stories.
Write because it gives you pleasure. Not because you are looking for affirmation or critique. Those will come eventually.
Write because it gives you pleasure. Not because you are looking for affirmation or critique. Those will come eventually.
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December 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ohhhh, that was hottttt! lol. I really loved this and the way its not just all about sex. There's lots going on like with the fight and the mystery and stuff.Great job Halia and thanks for the shout out, I will continue to support you and for the others who read without reviewing. Please review it is nice to know your work is loved and appreciated also to learn how to improve so please review and great job again Halia, loved it :D
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December 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
update! update!
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December 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ohhhhhhh she saw them being gay, lol. She'll get over it. This just keeps getting better and better. Damn now i am excited and the chappie is over, guess I gotta wait for an update. Loved it :D
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December 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Why are the chapters getting so short? They seem like fillers almost....Give us something amazing to make up for the wait! lol.
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December 2, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This is really good, I love it! Keep up the good work :) Not to mention it's really hot *blushes* I don't review often, normally once IF a story catches my liking, but this story has more than done that. I will try to review every time you update. Oh I wanted to say this before, I love the way the story has mystery behind Roman and I can't wait to find out more about him and once again, I love it :D