rate_review Reviews

Hot darn, I want more of Zar and Oma plus more of Zar's toys. I hope you consider not making this a one-shot. These lovely male specimens are yummy.

Is English not your first language. This reads rather awkwardly.

To your reviewer called lo, I think the problem is you not being able to read/understand English not the matter of English being the author's first language. I found no problem with reading this. This story is apparently set in a different universe than the real world so get over it. SKBowen, I loved reading this and you did an excellent job writing it. I would like to see what this lo could write and bet it wouldn't stand a chance against any of your stories. Keep up the good work!

Hey, I think you should proof read your chapters before posting them. I'm really interested in reading the rest of it. However, I could not get through the first two paragraphs without cringing. I'm sorry but I had to stop reading because the grammar and structure were god-awful. Please pick a perspective and stick to it when you're writing. Or, at the very least, start a new paragraph if you're going to change point of views. You should also distinguish what are thoughts or dialogue.