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January 23, 2016 at 12:00 AM
I knew when I started this that it wasn't finished, but I really wanted to read it so I did. And I absolutely love it! I beg you please update this story!! I need to know what happens to Jessica. PLEASE!!! I know its been so long but please!! I beg you, UPDATE!!
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November 23, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Wow
I must admit that it was VERY hard for me to pass the first few chapters, because, obviously, I mean, yeah.
The violence and hopelessness at first was bordering unbearable, but right now there is a pattern for something that is interesting without developing into some gruesome scenes. I'm happy that you chose Max not to be another seriously sadist man that burns and harms other human beings because it turns him on to see them truly suffer. Like any very well written story with an evil character, here too, I mush admit that Max holds a kind of charm to him. He's kind of like a child that stopped growing at one point in his life, and all the experiences added to his resume just built a huge disorder within him. I'm not quit sure, but I think he shows some symptoms of Autism (Some kind of, don't kill me, research it) that influence his 'one woman bad all women bad' line of thoughts. He is clearly not doing it out of Sadism, though, like any other man who craves dominance he is still getting off of the feeling of power.
Great story please continue to update <333
I must admit that it was VERY hard for me to pass the first few chapters, because, obviously, I mean, yeah.
The violence and hopelessness at first was bordering unbearable, but right now there is a pattern for something that is interesting without developing into some gruesome scenes. I'm happy that you chose Max not to be another seriously sadist man that burns and harms other human beings because it turns him on to see them truly suffer. Like any very well written story with an evil character, here too, I mush admit that Max holds a kind of charm to him. He's kind of like a child that stopped growing at one point in his life, and all the experiences added to his resume just built a huge disorder within him. I'm not quit sure, but I think he shows some symptoms of Autism (Some kind of, don't kill me, research it) that influence his 'one woman bad all women bad' line of thoughts. He is clearly not doing it out of Sadism, though, like any other man who craves dominance he is still getting off of the feeling of power.
Great story please continue to update <333
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Oh lord you need to pick this up and run with it. That last cliffhanger was way too juicy to stop at. WHO IS AT THE DOOR! lord I could read this all day.
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September 23, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I hope you still writing this story. Took forever to re find it again. Really love the sudden change in the last chapter too.
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August 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I like this story very much and hope you will see it through to its conclusion. With your imagination and ability to write, I hope you will be able to find a way to bring Max and Jessica together as partners in life and tear down Max's misguided views of " what a woman's place is".
Looking forward to reading the rest of your story.
Looking forward to reading the rest of your story.
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July 29, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Hi :)
I just found your story and wanted to leave you with a little feedback.
Just to diffuse your doubts: I think your portrayal of Jessica's mental state is pretty realistic and well-presented. Real people aren't fanfic mary-sues who go through whatever kind of hell and come out stronger and better than ever, they have a breaking point and do everything to survive. The way you describe the capture bonding is actually one of the very best I read on this site :)
Maximilian really has some issues, although his friends seem to be even worse. It's terrifying to think about people like that really being around but I honestly don't doubt it.
As a German I thought I could help you out a little :) Usually you would write "gutes Mädchen" unless you don't capitalize the noun to underline the power-dynamic, you sometimes do and sometimes don't so I'm not sure if it's intentional. The same goes for the other endearments :) "Süßling" really surprised me, I must say. Never heard that one before :D I only ever heard of Süße but would never doubt that Süßling exists :)
In chapter 18 Maximilian would answer "Ja, bist du...und ich?" as "du bist" would actually be used for a question in this case. And if you wanted to be extremely polite Jessica would say "Ich bin Ihre Sklavin" with a capitalized Ihre. It's not mandatory to capitalize the i anymore but it's still considered to be much more polite than to ignore this custom/rule. :)
Looking forward to read more :)
Sunny
I just found your story and wanted to leave you with a little feedback.
Just to diffuse your doubts: I think your portrayal of Jessica's mental state is pretty realistic and well-presented. Real people aren't fanfic mary-sues who go through whatever kind of hell and come out stronger and better than ever, they have a breaking point and do everything to survive. The way you describe the capture bonding is actually one of the very best I read on this site :)
Maximilian really has some issues, although his friends seem to be even worse. It's terrifying to think about people like that really being around but I honestly don't doubt it.
As a German I thought I could help you out a little :) Usually you would write "gutes Mädchen" unless you don't capitalize the noun to underline the power-dynamic, you sometimes do and sometimes don't so I'm not sure if it's intentional. The same goes for the other endearments :) "Süßling" really surprised me, I must say. Never heard that one before :D I only ever heard of Süße but would never doubt that Süßling exists :)
In chapter 18 Maximilian would answer "Ja, bist du...und ich?" as "du bist" would actually be used for a question in this case. And if you wanted to be extremely polite Jessica would say "Ich bin Ihre Sklavin" with a capitalized Ihre. It's not mandatory to capitalize the i anymore but it's still considered to be much more polite than to ignore this custom/rule. :)
Looking forward to read more :)
Sunny
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April 8, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Omg i love your story sooooo much please pleaseeeee update soon i need more!! :)
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January 29, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Please update soon!!!! Ahhh it's killing me!
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December 30, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Love this story! Very well written. please update soon!
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November 29, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I really like this. Whatever it is, however it goes, please continue.