rate_review Reviews

Wonderful story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Left me wanting more. Xoxo Robin

I'm enjoying the story! It's a fun concept and you're exploring it well. You are right, you could use a beta or an editor. Some of the dialogue is a little clunky, it doesn't feel natural sometimes. But it's not nearly bad enough to make me stop reading! And it's not really bad, it just doesn't quite sound like natural conversation. Now, that could be on purpose. Could be your going for something with it. Some typos, but that would be a quick fix with a beta. 

There are a lot of things I like, though! The concept is creative and well executed. Having the MC have two genders is a hard thing to do well, but you did. I like that Daine's physical characteristics are reasonable and somewhat androgynous. The breasts aren't gigantic, the cock is good sized but not ridiculous. It makes it feel more real and pulls me into the story. 

I like how Daine's not a caricature. They have complex thoughts, feelings, and behavior. You did really well with that.

It's also well done how complex the world is. You put in little tidbits that give everything more depth. There are little mysteries that come up as they would in real life, since we don't automatically know everything about a situation we may come across. You also don't immediately reveal everyone's motivations, but so far you don't make us wait too long to reveal them. This really makes me interested in the things going on in the story. Then, just mentioning things that come up in Daine's thoughts concerning other things in life, like the federation and Daine's thoughts about the possibilities of things as they relate to prior knowledge of the universe and how it works gives the story nice depth and makes it feel more real without having to give a long monologue. 

Anyway, I actually had a minute to review, so I thought I'd try to do a decent review! I'm enjoying the story!

Xoxo Robin