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May 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I still love Eric in this. He's funny as fuck.
Also I thought David got high on crack for a minute. I was like 'dafuq.' I had to re read that part again.
Bitter Max still gives me ideas of kinky sex. I don't want sex though; I want drama and 'screaming like the coming out with his family,' thing. I want making up and making out and jealous jealous jealous idiots.
I hope David DOESN'T have sex though with that dude. That's not cool.
Also I thought David got high on crack for a minute. I was like 'dafuq.' I had to re read that part again.
Bitter Max still gives me ideas of kinky sex. I don't want sex though; I want drama and 'screaming like the coming out with his family,' thing. I want making up and making out and jealous jealous jealous idiots.
I hope David DOESN'T have sex though with that dude. That's not cool.
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May 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I read Sonny's review and wow...
Have you actually planned all that before writing this story?Because that's a lot of depth going on!
I mean did you actually go:We could have two men who both are exceptionally hot,One of them could be a millionaire and the other could be the thief who rids them of their money in sneaky ways.Let's make it so that at the beginning the millionaire appears to be all kind and saintly and Jean Valjean-ish and the other one is angry and a total jerk.It turns out the thief one is actually a sweetheart and the Jean Valjean one isn't so saintly after all and has darker desires lurking there.(These two should always remain opposites of each other in a subtle way no matter how much they'll change.)Therefore they both should have abusive (in a way) relationships but they're opposites so although one of them sometimes think about it and analyzes it while the other appears to have completely forgot about it,in the end the sweetheart guy should be the one that manages to completely break free.And so on so on then their roles from the beginning of the story should change and the saint one should become the jerk and the jerk one should become the awesome fabulous amazing one then so on so on?
'Cause girl,if that's the case then daaaayyyyymnnnn!You're more awesome than I first thought!One hell of a writer here!
Oh big and powerful slash master,your meager admirer now holds lots of respect for thou's brilliant mind...
Mirror mirror on the wall
who is the biggest asshole of them all?
Oh mighty queen of far away land
I would've said you,but lets be frand(!)*
Max Felton stole that title like,awhile ago
Three month to be precise
(That no good mofo pendejo)
Because he's the one who finally managed
to tear poor Snow White's heart apart like a cabbage(!)
So kneel in his presence oh mighty Queen
'Cause even the cruelest animal doesn't do that to its kin
Poor little Snow White is walking on the edge of the blade
(Is it just me or Erik really needs to get laid?)
With each shaky step he loses more balance
One last push and...Oh my god DAVID!Someone call an ambulance!
*Frank!!!
Yeah I know...Real awesome meaningful poetry with really sophisticated rhymes going on here...
Have you actually planned all that before writing this story?Because that's a lot of depth going on!
I mean did you actually go:We could have two men who both are exceptionally hot,One of them could be a millionaire and the other could be the thief who rids them of their money in sneaky ways.Let's make it so that at the beginning the millionaire appears to be all kind and saintly and Jean Valjean-ish and the other one is angry and a total jerk.It turns out the thief one is actually a sweetheart and the Jean Valjean one isn't so saintly after all and has darker desires lurking there.(These two should always remain opposites of each other in a subtle way no matter how much they'll change.)Therefore they both should have abusive (in a way) relationships but they're opposites so although one of them sometimes think about it and analyzes it while the other appears to have completely forgot about it,in the end the sweetheart guy should be the one that manages to completely break free.And so on so on then their roles from the beginning of the story should change and the saint one should become the jerk and the jerk one should become the awesome fabulous amazing one then so on so on?
'Cause girl,if that's the case then daaaayyyyymnnnn!You're more awesome than I first thought!One hell of a writer here!
Oh big and powerful slash master,your meager admirer now holds lots of respect for thou's brilliant mind...
Mirror mirror on the wall
who is the biggest asshole of them all?
Oh mighty queen of far away land
I would've said you,but lets be frand(!)*
Max Felton stole that title like,awhile ago
Three month to be precise
(That no good mofo pendejo)
Because he's the one who finally managed
to tear poor Snow White's heart apart like a cabbage(!)
So kneel in his presence oh mighty Queen
'Cause even the cruelest animal doesn't do that to its kin
Poor little Snow White is walking on the edge of the blade
(Is it just me or Erik really needs to get laid?)
With each shaky step he loses more balance
One last push and...Oh my god DAVID!Someone call an ambulance!
*Frank!!!
Yeah I know...Real awesome meaningful poetry with really sophisticated rhymes going on here...
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May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Yay! I loved this chapter! Seemed to be a bit of UST going on with Eric and David. And Max thinks David has a new boy friend?! Oh no! Is it just me, or has Max gotten a lot colder?
Many thanks for the chapter! Hope you exams went really well!
Many thanks for the chapter! Hope you exams went really well!
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May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hey, will Max be at the B-day party?...
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May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Oh I remembered something!( I was blabbering so much in my last review I completely forgot about it!)
Isn't David like really nearsighted?He wears contacts,right?But then how did they allow him to become a pilot? I believe pilots are required to have perfect eyesight without help of any outside objects.So how was he admitted?
Isn't David like really nearsighted?He wears contacts,right?But then how did they allow him to become a pilot? I believe pilots are required to have perfect eyesight without help of any outside objects.So how was he admitted?
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May 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Anonymous review!Oh whoever could that be from?A secret admirer maybe?*waggling eyebrows*
Whoops!I pressed review before I had the chance to write,my name…
Whoops!I pressed review before I had the chance to write,my name…
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May 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Yay :D
My brain did a big cheer when I saw the story update :D
even if the setting made it a bit confusing to read haha
My brain did a big cheer when I saw the story update :D
even if the setting made it a bit confusing to read haha
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May 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I love the last chapter and simply can't wait for more! It is so interesting to see where Max and David will go from there and how this experience has changed them. I enjoyed how Max became more bitter and ruthless - makes him more real and intriguing in my eyes. Before, the story was great, but now it is even more fun since I have no idea where you are going to take it from here!
Wonderful job!
Wonderful job!
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May 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
OH MON Dieu!OH DIOS MIO!Why oh WHY do you do this to me!Always leaving it at a crucial moment!Cruel cruel author...I remember back in the day,authors were kind and sparkly and wore floral dresses and funny red shorts with green hats and Judy Abbott style hair and only left a story when it reached 'And They Lived Happily Ever After'! What has the world come to???*falling to the ground and shaking fists at sky*
My cursed final exams are in like 2 days and then I'll be deprived of life's luxuries for like a month!Feel sympathy!All of you will fall to this doomed fate sooner or later...
Anyhoo,awesome chapter!David is AWESOME!He's just priceless in every way!I mean the way he just went and nailed an awesome job and then the house and the car and the way he talked to his family...PRICELESS! *dreamy fangirly eyes*
And on the contrary,Max is just pathetic and an idiot!Who in the whole world would leave such god sent angel for anyone,much less PHIL!No one I'm telling you,NO one!Unless,of course,the ones that have probably hit their head hard on the headboard when the first had sex...
O no he's not!David and Erik are not gonna snap and end up having wild monkey sex!Because that would just make this a cheesy schmoopy Turkish soup opera!With a freaking love triangle,with the protagonist ending up either having to cheat on one or getting pregnant by the other or running off with a third person,and a shitload of misunderstandings and people bent on revenge who then are gonna have a change of heart and falling for either a)The protagonist's mother b)The protagonist himself c)The protagonist's sister d)The protagonist's kid child!
I love it when David is angry!He's just awesome!And fabulous! :))))
David rocking an M5 like a boss!In your face closeted car sailer!(What?I don't even know...)
And Max needs to get the hollow feeling more!'Cause he deserves it!I mean David was clearly screaming 'I love you' and the pendejo just dumped him without a second thought!
I need some!Give me some!Give me some!
My cursed final exams are in like 2 days and then I'll be deprived of life's luxuries for like a month!Feel sympathy!All of you will fall to this doomed fate sooner or later...
Anyhoo,awesome chapter!David is AWESOME!He's just priceless in every way!I mean the way he just went and nailed an awesome job and then the house and the car and the way he talked to his family...PRICELESS! *dreamy fangirly eyes*
And on the contrary,Max is just pathetic and an idiot!Who in the whole world would leave such god sent angel for anyone,much less PHIL!No one I'm telling you,NO one!Unless,of course,the ones that have probably hit their head hard on the headboard when the first had sex...
O no he's not!David and Erik are not gonna snap and end up having wild monkey sex!Because that would just make this a cheesy schmoopy Turkish soup opera!With a freaking love triangle,with the protagonist ending up either having to cheat on one or getting pregnant by the other or running off with a third person,and a shitload of misunderstandings and people bent on revenge who then are gonna have a change of heart and falling for either a)The protagonist's mother b)The protagonist himself c)The protagonist's sister d)The protagonist's kid child!
I love it when David is angry!He's just awesome!And fabulous! :))))
David rocking an M5 like a boss!In your face closeted car sailer!(What?I don't even know...)
And Max needs to get the hollow feeling more!'Cause he deserves it!I mean David was clearly screaming 'I love you' and the pendejo just dumped him without a second thought!
I need some!Give me some!Give me some!
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May 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Honestly? I like the sexual tension between David and Eric, and I'm actually hoping that David will get with Eric instead of Max.
Why do I think this? Because I think David and Eric's relationship is a much better basis in my opinion.
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Eric and David start out being simply good friends. Due to David's gay-denial, he f-ed up and they break up as friends, but in the end when they have the chance to meet again Eric forgives David for his past mistake when he says sorry and then they hit it off as friends again, but now David is (more or less) accepting of gay identity.
They both have a (more or less) stable life now, and David went from f-ed up life as con artist to stable honest job again.
The only problem here is that David feels depressed over his break up (who wouldn't?), but who says he can't get over it with Eric's help? Also, Eric helps support him coming out to his parents.
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In contrast, Max and David do not start off simple, they start out with lies. David is in denial of his sexuality and also trying to cheat Max of his money. It's not simple, it's complicated. Also, when it ends with David confessing his wrongs and trying to ask for forgiveness Max is NOT able to forgive David even when David CLEARLY is trying to make it up again (because what kind of con would personally return all the money he stole AND confess his mistakes to the one he's stolen from?).
Lastly, Max is just an emotional f-ed up mess. He may have a stable job, but his life is anything from stable. He's a plain doormat for Paul. After his break up with David, he goes straight back to Paul, whom he has already broken up with SEVERAL TIMES. By now he should KNOW that Paul and he will not work out well, yet he STILL GOES BACK. If that isn't the dumbest thing you can do... Really, with such an attitude, he will never get a working relationship, no matter WHO he hits it off with.
The way I see it, the problem in this relationship is not David, but Max. David managed break off from Rachel who made him a wreck. Even though it took a while, he proved that he was able to overcome her. He is the strong one who manages to move forward in life. Max, on the other hand, keeps going back to Paul, he can't break it off. Even when he supposedly broke off with Paul, the guy was still in his life and still came to that Friday-gay-get-together party planned by Eric. Max just can't let go and move on and THAT is just plain unhealthy.
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Sorry for the long rant, it's just my opinion, but the fact that I'm writing such a long piece about it, means that I'm really liking your story! ^_^ Keep writing, because I'm really looking forward to it!
Why do I think this? Because I think David and Eric's relationship is a much better basis in my opinion.
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Eric and David start out being simply good friends. Due to David's gay-denial, he f-ed up and they break up as friends, but in the end when they have the chance to meet again Eric forgives David for his past mistake when he says sorry and then they hit it off as friends again, but now David is (more or less) accepting of gay identity.
They both have a (more or less) stable life now, and David went from f-ed up life as con artist to stable honest job again.
The only problem here is that David feels depressed over his break up (who wouldn't?), but who says he can't get over it with Eric's help? Also, Eric helps support him coming out to his parents.
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In contrast, Max and David do not start off simple, they start out with lies. David is in denial of his sexuality and also trying to cheat Max of his money. It's not simple, it's complicated. Also, when it ends with David confessing his wrongs and trying to ask for forgiveness Max is NOT able to forgive David even when David CLEARLY is trying to make it up again (because what kind of con would personally return all the money he stole AND confess his mistakes to the one he's stolen from?).
Lastly, Max is just an emotional f-ed up mess. He may have a stable job, but his life is anything from stable. He's a plain doormat for Paul. After his break up with David, he goes straight back to Paul, whom he has already broken up with SEVERAL TIMES. By now he should KNOW that Paul and he will not work out well, yet he STILL GOES BACK. If that isn't the dumbest thing you can do... Really, with such an attitude, he will never get a working relationship, no matter WHO he hits it off with.
The way I see it, the problem in this relationship is not David, but Max. David managed break off from Rachel who made him a wreck. Even though it took a while, he proved that he was able to overcome her. He is the strong one who manages to move forward in life. Max, on the other hand, keeps going back to Paul, he can't break it off. Even when he supposedly broke off with Paul, the guy was still in his life and still came to that Friday-gay-get-together party planned by Eric. Max just can't let go and move on and THAT is just plain unhealthy.
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Sorry for the long rant, it's just my opinion, but the fact that I'm writing such a long piece about it, means that I'm really liking your story! ^_^ Keep writing, because I'm really looking forward to it!