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May 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I was surprised to see you updated again so soon. The way that things are turning out as the chapters progress makes me wonder if Ari Chime is trying to return to Kale or if he is going to setup a new empire under Ari Theorick? Looking forward to reading more chapters when you post them. I really hope that Marcus is dead and did not get any lasting healing effects from Chime.
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May 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
So eeevil ! Two consecutive cliffhanger chapters !( I love Kale too much XP)
Are you sure about what you said in your Bio? This story is a lot better than some of the professional fantasy fiction I've had the misfortune of reading, and I've read a LOT of sci-fi and fantasy XD .To be honest I'd love to see this story published some day (and maybe extended XP - Hey I can hope can't I?)
Can't wait to read your first published book
Are you sure about what you said in your Bio? This story is a lot better than some of the professional fantasy fiction I've had the misfortune of reading, and I've read a LOT of sci-fi and fantasy XD .To be honest I'd love to see this story published some day (and maybe extended XP - Hey I can hope can't I?)
Can't wait to read your first published book
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May 1, 2013 at 12:00 AM
It sound as though Celeste's family got quite a shock when they rescued their "enslaved" daughter, since she appears to be in charge of their lands knights (or its it also a combination of male relatives being dead and her being stronger than she used to be - both mentally and physically).Its interesting that Kale still has some abilities that can't be human above and beyond his increased healing. Is it a remnant of chime's power, or has he always been able to do it due to his blood (perhaps to a limited extent or maybe he just needs training as illustrated by him only being able to influence a "weaker" mind) or maybe having chime inside him for so long exercising his powers had made his hokati heritage come more to the fore (sound fishy but it IS magic we're talking about) or maybe a combination of all three? Mmh Garza left the stable expressly so Mance could soften him up for information. I wonder what the repercussions will be for Kale and I wonder what the repercussions will be for Tirak even though Monchol is a much smaller country.
What you said does raise an interesting point - are there any additional powers that people initiated into the order receive that may pose a threat to chime's existence? They may not be able to kill him but can they use some ability of theirs to reseal him?
Thanks for the great story so far XD
What you said does raise an interesting point - are there any additional powers that people initiated into the order receive that may pose a threat to chime's existence? They may not be able to kill him but can they use some ability of theirs to reseal him?
Thanks for the great story so far XD
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April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I am really really looking forward to the next update, please don't give up on this story, it is awesome. Hope you get over your writer's block, eat a cupcake or something....!
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April 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Just wanted to say how much I am enjoying your story. I've read quite a bit on AFF, but this is my first review, since I def. want to encourage you to keep on writing! With or without the sexy scenes, your story just flows for me. I love your choice on verbs when it comes to Kale. Everything about him is is very active and he comes very alive in my mind. I do sometimes catch minor grammar mistakes, but they're very small and infrequent.
Please, please keep on writing!
Please, please keep on writing!
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April 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Chapters 11 & 12
I'll agree with Hegan, here - Kale being unable to ride a horse makes me rather amused, too.
It makes me grin to see Vaughn and Kale about to have fun again (and Vaughn telling Hegan off in such a roundabout way had me nearly in stitches), even if poor Kale isn't feeling great.
Love their conversation about books and old languages, by the way. If you want to have Kale teach Vaughn those two other languages (it sounds like that's your plan), I think that would be neat.
Looking forward to reading more!
May the words just flow,
Cuzosu
I'll agree with Hegan, here - Kale being unable to ride a horse makes me rather amused, too.
It makes me grin to see Vaughn and Kale about to have fun again (and Vaughn telling Hegan off in such a roundabout way had me nearly in stitches), even if poor Kale isn't feeling great.
Love their conversation about books and old languages, by the way. If you want to have Kale teach Vaughn those two other languages (it sounds like that's your plan), I think that would be neat.
Looking forward to reading more!
May the words just flow,
Cuzosu
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April 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
the action in this story is so well written! i am loving the battles! and huge relief! silver-hair has just been found! yay and now i get to read more!!
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April 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
so i was wrong before, i had only just read chapter 1 but so much had happened in the chapter i was certain i must have just read at least two instalments. The real chapter two was just as peachy. i am falling in love with the detail of your world, the history behind everything, the different cultures everything just feels so solid. I think the brothers' relationship is rather cute. I love this so much! I really dont want it to end! Luckily I am insanely busy at the moment and only have time to read this a chapter at a time. I get to ration the loveliness out and make it last longer!! thank you again
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April 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This is really interesting! I like the names you came up with. How do you pronounce chime? I am thinking like key-may, but who knows. Help a girl out! lol.
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April 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely love this story, very interesting! You made me stay up very late reading this instead of sleeping like I should.