Hmmm… Where to begin? Oh it has to be with my current favorite line you’ve written (I say current because I have no doubt you will top yourself somewhere down the line): “Did you think because we both sprang from his cock that I would show you love or mercy?”, is it because the work cock is so harsh? Or is because Ashton truly means it, I’m not sure but it’s a Hell of a line. Okay now that I’ve started in the middle where do I go from there, how said was it that Amaury became his father’s sex object at such a young age but what is sadder is that he was not overly bothered by it; it was just what was expect like saying “yes sir, or no sir”. Even though you didn’t spend paragraph after paragraph on the trip to Saint Dominique I still had a clear picture of the dank and depressing environment it was. Possibly one of the most degrading scenes you’ve written is in the chapter Ashton forcing Amaury to lick the dirt from his boots, it was an exercise in power and to teach Amaury a valued lesson, he was anything but special. I am curious to see (nee read) how Amaury adjusts to his new slave life.
Oh yeah and thanks for the update on not abandoning Eden (I really like that one, not to say I don’t like this one but I just have more invested in Eden but I suspect it that will change soon enough).
You know you love me, XOXO
Something struck me as I was reading this second installment how many of us would be crippled and horrified to become a forced lover of our father (or any adult for that matter) yet it is taken in such stride. Amaury is not complaining about his new position so much but he definitely sights the discomfort of it. Perception is everything. I slightly grinned and chuckled at the woman who so rudely awoke Amaury and that he wanted to beat her but her size intimidated even him (LOL). God I got a cold shiver when Amaury described his father dying while fucking him, I can’t even imagine how that would be, and then how fathers erection grew stronger was chilling and sickening. I’m actually a little relieved Amaury id depressed, I mean how could he not be with the life he has been subjected to. Ashton is cruel man and I am also curious to what made him so; waking his brother/slave from sleep because he is bored. I wanted to cry for Amary with his thoughts: “Inside my heart I was white and free. Inside my heart I was a man of worth.” how many persons of color have had the very same though and it was beautiful how you stated it. The audacity Ashton has to complain about the conditions he has to suffer through, is he completely delusional?
As for you’re and I very rarely find errors in your writing (and I take glee in finding them-LOL).
You know you love me, XOXO
Please correct your disclaimer.
It does not contain the required elements. It can be worded however you, the author, likes, provided that it is clear you are saying that this is a work of fiction or poetry; that any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental; and that if you've borrowed from anyone, it is properly noted.
You must state that the story is fiction; saying that it's 'original' is inadequate.
Failure to correct the disclaimer will cause your story to be hidden from public view after a week or so of the warning being given, but not deleted; you can still correct your disclaimer, which will then be unhidden again as soon as possible. Continued failure to correct the disclaimer will cause the hidden story to be deleted in time (generally 30 days after it has been hidden). Re-uploads of hidden stories are deleted immediately, no warning given.
Below is a link to the Terms of Service in its entirety:
http://www.adultfanfiction.net/tos.php
In addition, the next link listed is to the FAQ regarding disclaimers:
http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=3560
We also suggest taking a few minutes to read the Content Guidelines:
http://www.adultfanfiction.net/guidelines.php
You can remove this review once your disclaimer is corrected.
Thank you,
Danyealle, AFF Archive Moderator
Linda