rate_review Reviews

Glad to see that Casey will be punished! It seems like Blain and Ezra are growing closer (or at least there's an understanding/ sympathising and tolerance developing, like Ezra is looking back at how he behaved with his first few HWs). It's interesting that Alex has started to break from the incident with Casey, and is actively seeking 'protection'.
Can't wait or more!
Cheers.

I didn't say you couldn't express opinions about your story or characters. But the point of a review is to communicate to the author about the story and point out areas where it could grow, things that need to be explained because the reader isn't in your head and thereby can intimately know it, or potential plot holes that need to be filled. You can't expect everyone to give you mindless praise and really, if you want to grow as an author, you should welcome someone with who you can cross textual swords. The crudest ore can become the finest blade only through passing through fire and being hammered.

I get that it's your story and your characters. I can even understand feeling protective and defensive about them. Stories and characters are, after all, a writer's intellectual children birthed through the toil and turmoil of stringing together what would to some be considered nonsense. I can also understand not taking criticism well--we artists are an arrogant lot. We also tend to whine, I've noticed. Not a pretty combination.

That out of the way, great couple of chapters. You weren't kidding when you made the comment about it turning into a "oh, I have five minutes? let's write a chapter!". :) Gotta admit I love prolific writers. I wish I was one, but alas, the demon siren which is the Internet is very alluring. :)

I really like that you're stepping up your game on the characterization, even if it's mostly through dialogue rather than spread throughout descriptive actions. Oh, Gods, I kind of wanted to beat Casey myself, though. First the snotty attitude, then the physical abuse. Is he really that threatened by Alex, who isn't even entering into his harem's direct hierarchy? Grr.

I am a little confused as to why Dr. Albright was there. I understand the plot vehicle that she represents, but it's been mentioned that her activity on the estate should be limited due to the whole political situation. So why was she there?

Oh, and I'm dying to know what she gave Alex. Sedatives don't normally stop pain--mind you, they can in certain biologies or when mixed with certain medications. But doing so would be atypical of a straight sedative. Special concoction? Albright taking initiative and acting against an Alpha's stated instruction? Oh, the questions!

Looking forward to more,

~M. Silverwolf

PS: If you don't want criticism, even constructive, showing up in your reviews (I know some writers don't because there are readers who read the reviews first) but would still want that kind of input so that you can grow your writing, I'm open to taking the discussion elsewhere that has a PM system or exchanging emails (if you have access to it as the author. I know it's hidden from public view.). My preferences are email, AIM, or FF's PM system, but I'm rather flexible excepting I cannot use YIM due to firewall problems or anywhere the requires paid accounts. Name the site and handle.

If I'm wrong about you being a serious writer who lives to hone his medium, just delete this review like you did the other one and say nothing. That way I can stop wasting my time writing reviews that do nothing and you can bask in the empty praise and sycophantic ego stroking that is so common among standard reviews.

Yessssss, recorded evidence for the win! I'm so relieved. And worried. And in dire need of more 'breaking' information...what exactly happens mentally and physically when G14's 'break'? Will Alex ever trust Blane enough about his own safety?

Chapter 1-11. Woot! I'm loving how the story is progressing. Poor Alex and his hip. I can't wait to see what Blaine has planned and if Alex will ever get along with Casey.

Alright, I understand Casey. Jealousy is a bitch and turns you into one...but, for crying out loud, he should have known better. Nothing good could come of it. Alex is hilarious under sedation...but, then again so is everyone in my opinion. Blane, that rabbit's gonna replace you one day. You are forewarned.

oh no, a cliffy! Hope Alex will be OK. Wonder what will happen to Casey...
Just an info query, I was taught that sedatives (in general) did not really offer significant (in fact, most offer no) pain releif. Local anesthetic agents (which would be what Balne used) and analgesics are the ones that relieve pain. To my knowledge, any gas anaestheic agent that relieves pain pretty much only lasts for as long as you keep breathing it in! This is why the vet often "pre-medicates" your pet before surgery with a combination of analgesics and sedatives (amongst other things).
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Many thanks for your time and talent!

I always love updates from one of my favorite "originals" authors. I am enjoying this story so much, I love the main characters Blaine and Alex. I have a feeling that Casey is going to be in very deep, deep shit for all the problems he is caused this morning. Hopefully, Blaine gets his patient in first and Alex is going to be okay. I hope that Blaine has enough common sense left to leave the disipline of Casey up to this father instead of beating him up himself. Afterall, it would not be good to have Blaine being punished by Erza because Casey is a spoiled bitch.

uh oh. I sense PROBLEMS. And casey is going to get his head ripped off.......

I loved this :) And i like the development occurring between the two =D

I think this story has great potential, but I think your usage of odd pronouns takes away from what otherwise would be an interesting read. It is highly distracting.

Ok, Casey is getting on mu nerves. I wanna rip his face off!! That whiny bitch, leave our Alex alone!!!