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March 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 20-24. Hahahhahahah! Blane afraid of needles. I wouldn't blame him. I'm afraid of needles. Now Peter, that's an interesting new character. History now unfolds and Alex is in the middle of the mayhem and chaos that about to unfold. I can't wait to sees how this will conclude. Thank you for the updates! Greatly appreciate it!
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March 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I actually don't mind the pronouns. They make sense and they read as the words they were meant to replace if you're not trying to read outloud.
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March 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Loved this chapter! "...I don't need to go around explaining why I draw blood rather than growl." I wonder what happened to Blane? Alex is just starting to explore his sexuality and it's cute! I'm wondering about Paul though (is Peter just a worry-wart, or is there more to it?)
Thanks for the chapter!
Thanks for the chapter!
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March 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
If it's not one, then the other. I wonder what Alex would do if Blane was chosen by Paul to use as an example. He's quite the spitfire at times.
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March 21, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Uuh, hot scene with Blane, Peter and Alex.I had to laugh when I read Alex's comment about Blane's size. It's just what every virgin (male or female) says when she/he sees an erected member of another man for the very first time: It won't fit! This thing will kill me! ROFL!
And now the actual story begins! So, by original tradition of the Alphas, Paul would have the right to prove his dominance by raping his son, but at the same time the Alphas won't accept this tradition anymore because they want to behave in a more civilized way? Alex, of course smelled the rat before Blane (like he did at the party). I wonder what Alex will do if Paul really attacks Blane...
Oh, I forgot: in case you want to contact me (Maybe, if you're interested, I could help with some bits and bites about genetics and endocrinology: gcpeifer@yahoo.de
And now the actual story begins! So, by original tradition of the Alphas, Paul would have the right to prove his dominance by raping his son, but at the same time the Alphas won't accept this tradition anymore because they want to behave in a more civilized way? Alex, of course smelled the rat before Blane (like he did at the party). I wonder what Alex will do if Paul really attacks Blane...
Oh, I forgot: in case you want to contact me (Maybe, if you're interested, I could help with some bits and bites about genetics and endocrinology: gcpeifer@yahoo.de
schedule
March 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Like dominant Alex! I wonder if all those Alphas in Dark thought Alex was also an Alpha (like Peter did)...
Also fascinated by the idea of two Alpha sharing a household/ being in a relationship (doesn't seem to be as much about dominance as Paul's relationship with the submissive alpha mentioned earlier (the one to be 'put down')). Love your world building!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Also fascinated by the idea of two Alpha sharing a household/ being in a relationship (doesn't seem to be as much about dominance as Paul's relationship with the submissive alpha mentioned earlier (the one to be 'put down')). Love your world building!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
schedule
March 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Yay! Thank you for the corrections. This story is so good, it deserves only the best treatment!
About ch 22: *grins* Yes, Alex, in the world of humans you've might been a nobody, but in the world of the Alphas you're a prince! Better get used to it!
Now I feel sorry for Blane and especially for Peter. Bloodrage can't be something nice for the one who has to suffer it. Thanks gods for Alex's goodness and his big heart. I hope Peter will feel better afterwards.
But what astounded me: Alex shows more and more Alpha behaviour. I mean, he bared his teeth when Peter arrived! I wonder what will happen next....
About ch 22: *grins* Yes, Alex, in the world of humans you've might been a nobody, but in the world of the Alphas you're a prince! Better get used to it!
Now I feel sorry for Blane and especially for Peter. Bloodrage can't be something nice for the one who has to suffer it. Thanks gods for Alex's goodness and his big heart. I hope Peter will feel better afterwards.
But what astounded me: Alex shows more and more Alpha behaviour. I mean, he bared his teeth when Peter arrived! I wonder what will happen next....
schedule
March 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
After re-reading chapters 1-20:
Aah, yes, now I understand what the G14 marker means for the C's and D's: Simply following the loudest voice - may it lead into panic, uproar or senseless violence.(In German we have even words for this: 'Nibelungentreue' and 'Kadavergehorsam' - if you're intested then please send a message to me and I'll explain them more exactly)) I think, the attributes of the G14 marker would fit for at least 50 percent of the population in real world - else we wouldn't have so many losses of lives at mass panics or civil wars.
For A's and B's nonetheless the G14 marker might mean something completely different: higher sensitivity, maybe better intelligence...
I've got to say that Jaime is a much more fitting name for this outstanding first husbandwife of Esra than Jamie (the name you used in chapter 1-3)."Jaime" resembles me of a Spanish aristocrates (who often have got blond hair) - which would fit very well to this husbandwife, the highly intelligent, strong-minded platonic lover of Esra and - as it seems - the true master of the house.A masculin hetero man, who can nonetheless act as a mother - for Blane as well as for Alex. Maybe one day, if you're willing and in the mood, you could change the name in the first three chapters.
And I had to lough so hard, when he hit Esra for sighing Alex's name. :-)
Then: I can't help, but I adore young Alex. He resembles me more and of Colin Farell in "Alexander": bright, awesome, couragious - and the scene when he kicked that nasty young Alpha into his balls was just great, as well as his conversation to the elderly Alpha at the party.
Oh, and about ch 16: Yes, Alex might be a spontaneous mutation, but, the first thing I'd ask would be: Are Alex's parents his biological parents?
I'm sure that is going to be an absolute fantastic story - maybe the best one ever published on AFF!
But there are two little (really very little) flaws. First, in chapter 2 you let Esra mention Dr. Albright as she would have been only introduced to the estate shortly before, without Esra's knowledge. Later she seemed to be Blane's personal doctor for a long time - since the time of his adolescence.
The second little flaw is (although I think you can neglect this one): When Blane and Alex arrived at Blane's apartment, Alex marveled at the tv of Blane (tarnished as a painting) and in chapter 13 they are wondering what they can do in the evening.But tghis are areally the onl litlle flaws - exept for thje, your story is really perfect. And as well I can't agree with the critique for ch. 20: I think this world you created is nearly as complex as our real world,but on the other hand so different... so there are a lot of things to explain. The best way to do this is the way you did it.
And again: I'm longingly waiting for the next chapter!
Aah, yes, now I understand what the G14 marker means for the C's and D's: Simply following the loudest voice - may it lead into panic, uproar or senseless violence.(In German we have even words for this: 'Nibelungentreue' and 'Kadavergehorsam' - if you're intested then please send a message to me and I'll explain them more exactly)) I think, the attributes of the G14 marker would fit for at least 50 percent of the population in real world - else we wouldn't have so many losses of lives at mass panics or civil wars.
For A's and B's nonetheless the G14 marker might mean something completely different: higher sensitivity, maybe better intelligence...
I've got to say that Jaime is a much more fitting name for this outstanding first husbandwife of Esra than Jamie (the name you used in chapter 1-3)."Jaime" resembles me of a Spanish aristocrates (who often have got blond hair) - which would fit very well to this husbandwife, the highly intelligent, strong-minded platonic lover of Esra and - as it seems - the true master of the house.A masculin hetero man, who can nonetheless act as a mother - for Blane as well as for Alex. Maybe one day, if you're willing and in the mood, you could change the name in the first three chapters.
And I had to lough so hard, when he hit Esra for sighing Alex's name. :-)
Then: I can't help, but I adore young Alex. He resembles me more and of Colin Farell in "Alexander": bright, awesome, couragious - and the scene when he kicked that nasty young Alpha into his balls was just great, as well as his conversation to the elderly Alpha at the party.
Oh, and about ch 16: Yes, Alex might be a spontaneous mutation, but, the first thing I'd ask would be: Are Alex's parents his biological parents?
I'm sure that is going to be an absolute fantastic story - maybe the best one ever published on AFF!
But there are two little (really very little) flaws. First, in chapter 2 you let Esra mention Dr. Albright as she would have been only introduced to the estate shortly before, without Esra's knowledge. Later she seemed to be Blane's personal doctor for a long time - since the time of his adolescence.
The second little flaw is (although I think you can neglect this one): When Blane and Alex arrived at Blane's apartment, Alex marveled at the tv of Blane (tarnished as a painting) and in chapter 13 they are wondering what they can do in the evening.But tghis are areally the onl litlle flaws - exept for thje, your story is really perfect. And as well I can't agree with the critique for ch. 20: I think this world you created is nearly as complex as our real world,but on the other hand so different... so there are a lot of things to explain. The best way to do this is the way you did it.
And again: I'm longingly waiting for the next chapter!
schedule
March 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Haha, the scene with Josie was cute, Blane has a strage sense of humour!
So, Casey wasn't crying, but instead fuming with rage when he was brought to the auction? I think that moron will learn his lesson when he meets Alex again - and this time an Alex who isn't weakened and drugged due to medical treatment.
So, Casey wasn't crying, but instead fuming with rage when he was brought to the auction? I think that moron will learn his lesson when he meets Alex again - and this time an Alex who isn't weakened and drugged due to medical treatment.
schedule
March 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! So there may be a possibility that Casey and Alex will meet... I wonder if Casey will 'fetch a high price' because he belonged to Ezra, or if he is considered 'used goods'...
Still can't wait to see Paul!
Still can't wait to see Paul!