rate_review Reviews

And then what happened?

Wow, love how this story was written. I was truly immersed in their world. It's so fun to follow the characters, wonderful intriguing characters! Vincent is a good character, though at the first chapters he reminds me too much of BBC's Sherlock in his way of delivering his observations (though I'm not sure how else you could write it because he's supposed to be good and rude and he's way awesome like that) , but I'm glad you held back on the observations after a while. Jarrah is just lovely, and very untypical as well. Tsuki isn't obnoxious, and I love how powerful he is and how you show us his power. I hope it gets completed, it doesn't matter when haha, just finish it? :D

Lovely story! I like it thus far and am looking forward to more. Thanks for sharing!

Oh that was really a lot of information!!!! I think I will need to read this a few more time to get everything^^But why does tsuki want the nithingales killed? I really want to read more of this amazing story!!!! Hope to hear from you again soon!!!!!

Wow that was amazing!!!! I really liked Templar^^he is really cool^^ And I love the bond vincent and Jarrah share that was so amazing to see jarrah beeing able to see!!!! I so hope there will be a way to save Jarrah!!!! And I want to know more about tsuki so I really can't wait for the next really long chappie!!!

: )

Oh my god that was so amazing!!!!! I really like the way they now have to fight their way through another realm^^ I hope will will find vincent using his deductions some more sonn^^And maybe we will even see Vincent fighting^^ I really love this story and I can't wait for more!!! Hope to see you soon!!!!

I'm really enjoying this story. You seem to be getting better with each chapter that is posted, which is naturally a good thing. I like the way Vincent's character is coming along, and Jarrah seems like such a sweet kid. I love how Jarrah's brother and sister are the only ones allowed to make him cry. They are so sweet and loving with him. Tsuki is a bit of a mystery. You haven't explained much about him, just that you keep changing his title from "Demon Master" to "Demon Prince".
I have to say that I would like to see April's character developed a little more. He seems like he could be quite hilarious, if you give me a little more room to grow. I also like how Samson is ignorant to almost everything around him. I get the feeling he wouldn't have even noticed that Jarrah was missing if he didn't receive the threats. I really enjoyed the way that Judge and Jury didn't seem pleased about having to explain the rumor they heard to Vincent. They really did seem disgusted by it. But I hope that Jarrah doesn't think lowly of Vincent.
I have to ask this question though: If Jarrah remembers Tsuki from when he was younger, why doesn't he remember Vincent? It was mentioned by Judge and Jury that Vincent used to protect them, fifty years ago. Did Tsuki block Vincent's memory from Jarrah's mind, or did it just fade after the years? I don't want to sound like I'm being nit-picky, but I think it would be good to address that before someone does rip you down because of it.
All in all, it seems that you know what you need to fix up and you do it in every chapter. Just remember that you have the entire story to let the characters develop their identities, so don't rush it. Let it come out the way they want it to.
So with all of that said, I hope to see more of this wonderful tale. It makes me smile and I can see a lot of good potential in it. Good luck with future chapters, and I shall see you when they are posted!

-Santiana.

Hm. This is interesting. I know that you wanted critique, but I truly believe that I can offer nothing that you probably do not already know. There is no point in forcing events to move along. Let us face it, the characters move when they want to. I look forward to the next chapter, to see what you come up with.

I do hope, however, that you do not turn Jarrah into the typical "uke". He seems to be heading in that direction. So I am just saying I would like to see him get a but more of a backbone. He seems like too much of a push over at the moment.

Waiting for the next installment.

D. Panthernopaeus.

Oh that was absoloutly amazing!!!!! I really liked Tsukis test^^That was really fun!!! And I really hate Jarrahs mother she is such a bitch!!! I wonder why Jarrah is straving himself... Does he know about the bancrupcy? I can't wait for our littel question and answer game in the next chappy!!!! Hope to hear from you again soon!!!!