rate_review Reviews

Amazing stuff here! I love what you've created so far. And while your chapter did ramble a bit, I think it really helped to map out some of the cultures and worlds that you have colliding. Especially when you spent more time discussing the history of Kings in Yusek's world and then in Dün-Seçen's. Fascinating! I don't think Dün-Seçen is Mad per say, just obsessively focused on proving his worth (to himself as well as is past/mother maybe?) I think the sparing of Yusek's life gives a glimpse into some sense of compassion and greater good (even if he claims he did for selfish reasons)under that cold exterior. I also like how you gave glimpses of Dün-Seçen's deep admiration for Yusek. And while Yusek seems a bit whishy washy right now, I like how he seems to be mourning the loss of his people and their long held traditions as well as fearing that he's lost their respect. It seems to me he could be a selfish man and only wish to have the power of King back, but instead he feels defeated in that he has disappointed those under his care. Mostly I think you've created to charismatic and wicked smart men, and I can't wait to see what paths they walk together!! Keep up the good work!

Have thoroughly enjoyed your first two chapters and believe you are just getting into your stride.

You are very good at the third person/omnipresent perspective and setting the scenes, which is done incredibly well.

In terms of the characters, I believe they can develop as the story unfolds. Dün-Seçen and Yüsek learning about each other at the same time as we, the reader, is a relative study in understanding and following the development of the personalities of the characters.

Maybe a little more introspection from the characters, it will give a more reflective viewpoint and provide the emotional content for each one, which is not prevalent just yet. And they seem to come across as rigid as opposed to aloof which would be more in line with the story of two, in effect, infamous strangers living together under such extreme circumstances.

This is just my humble opinion, but do believe that you will get settle into your stride once you have established where you want to take the story as you mentioned, you are having fun with it for now.

Overall, a great start to a grand tale.

Look forward to more soon!

I was so glad when I saw the update for this story. I absolute love your writing style and can't wait for the rest of the story. I actually like Dun-Secen. He is very obsessive and very attentive (especially to Yusek)and I can see him being both good and bad. I feel like he is the type of person that can be dark and dangerous and compassionate and lovable, it just depends on the situation. I can't wait to find out where you are taking this story. Stories like this are the reason why I'm on on AFF.

interesting idea. I wonder where this will all lead. great job! :)

AMAZING i can't wait to read more :)

I love it so far! ^_^ I've never seen a pairing or story like this before, it's beautifully written and I must know what happens next! Please update soon!

Good start, I can't wait for the rest.