Oh my gooooooood.
I read this AGES ago and thought you'd disappeared. I did a double take when I saw it was updated and then pretty much died at my desk.
But PAULIE -weeps- Bring him baaaack ;---;
I feel like I'm pointing out something obvious, but this wasn't ever "just porn", or else I wouldn't have been interested, and I certainly wouldn't have been in thirteen chapters deep.
There is a lot of fantasy fiction out there where I could censor out all the graphic sex scenes, and it wouldn't have any bearing on the main plot, because those sex scenes are kinda formulaic, and that formula seems to be the same one the porn industry uses. Plot with porn. Easy enough for me to ignore a boring page and skip to the fun stuff. I've also encountered stories where what happens in the bedroom DOES affect the plot, and there are a LOT of sex scenes. Porn with plot. Much harder for me to skip anything, but maybe the plot is awesome, so I struggle slowly through it. Both these formats have porn-type writing, which for me, is boring. Like, eyes glaze over and I find myself playing mindless games on Facebook for two hours, and still bored when I stop. A major time suck that doesn't do anything for me. That kind of boring. Your story wasn't ever boring.
Your writing style has always felt to me like it was revealing insights into the human condition while pretending to be porn. I think a lot of stories involving romance with AIs try for insight. They only establish that the humanized AI is special, and their human character is sympathetic but faceless and without the necessary complexity of personality to achieve a connection off the page back to the real world. Static main characters just don't work, all main characters need to be dynamic, it is a literary rule, and the human leads in the other AI stories have definitely been static.
Wait, I think I've been skirting around this bit without saying it outright.
Your story has literary value. It doesn't sound like you were trying for it, or maybe it is part of your editing process, but I could easily break this down with a literary critique after I resume breathing. I don't do great thinking when I forget to breathe, and your writing, as I established previously, has that effect.
Don't die, you perfectly paranoid beautiful person you! And keep writing.
PS> Paulie the Rebooted Robot was in-ter-es-ting, verry in-ter-es-ting! Finn's first two scenarios were endearing in his shy hope, as was the framed message. I'm trying to not put any expectation into how this will end.
Chapter 14 was even sadder than the one before. The minute i finished reading i felt so hopeless. Please don't let it end like this :'(
A reboot doesn't change how his connections are wired, they had the same Software installed as before right? So maybe they change the Firewall or put an extra program up to controll him better, that Can be overwritten? Anything?
Holy shit, an update! Excuse my language. And I'm glad my bawling progression of trying to read chapter 13 while at work and not crying (and clearly not succeeding) made you laugh. You deserve a good few laughs for all your hard work. Onwards to the chapter~
'He could come in at his leisure, they'd said; in the morning or over the next few days or really whenever it was convenient for him. So he went immediately.'
- Damn straight, Fin. You go get him, or whatever's left of him, dagnabbit!!
'Everything was different, and everything was the same. Paulie was gone, and Paulie was going to come home today.'
- My heart...the angst...I can barely take it.
'It wasn't cruel because he was indifferent, everyone was indifferent to him being naked, to anything at all, everyone except Finn, who was helpless enough to care about the dignity of a processing unit.'
- Aaaaaaangst...my heart needs to stop lurching.
'And over the bed, in a thin five Dollar frame that Finn had bought the night before, “I am Paulie” in soft and scratchy letters.'
- Dyyyying...dyyyyying of angst.
Finn wasn't seeing anyone because the someone he had cared about had turned back into a something.
- *gushing tears* Paulie...tell me you hid yourself somehow! Tell me you left yourself clues! Anything! Finn, did you never show him his last note??? Damn it, this is so frustrating!
Aaaaaargh, I read that too fast. I went slow and it was STILL too fast. I'm going to be in agony until the next update. There's no 'exit scene' for me. Still, thanks so much for the update!
I reread this today. I probably DID cry the first time. I probably bawled, in front of someone, who had no clue why I went from silently staring at my laptop to red-faced-drippy-mess-sobbing-with-my-hand-over-my-mouth-and-nose-like-that's-going-to-hide-anything crying. I probably left the room, embarrassed to have such a big emotional explosion all by myself (and why is it so much easier to unabashedly cry when others are, like we need other people to validate our right to express deep emotion?) and emptied most of a Kleenex box mopping up my face after what this story did to it. I probably washed my face in cold water, trying to rinse away the salt stains and blotchy redness marring my complexion, trying to undo the telltale swelling under my eyes, trying to repair the damaged skin around my nose with a little moisturizer. I probably didn't check my Stardust bookmark for awhile, and when I did, I secluded myself in my room first, just in case there was an update.
There wasn't an update. I didn't remember the last time I read it, I remembered the chapter before, and how many times I reread that before I moved the story from Current to Under Hiatus. I thought, sure, I'll reread this, clearly it didn't leave an impression the first time and it might be awhile before the next release. Not considering the possibility I repressed the memory in favor of the happier chapter, where two unwilling partners enacted a few different variations on rape scenes, kidnapping, pedophilia and revenge violence, all while battling what seems to be an undiagnosed debilitating disorder without professional help. Woot!
Not to give too much away, but I survived reading it a second time.
Halfway through chapter 13, I forgot to breathe. At the end, I had this big shaky breath come shuddering out like I'd suddenly been released from mind-numbing pain and wasn't quite sure how lungs function.
The drama and suspense are fantastic. Seriously, kudos well deserved.
I love how Paulie uses the malfunctioning programming, both good and bad. I wonder why only the sexual routines are malfunctioning, why there seem to be so many more incest-pedo-rape routines and not more innocent fantasies, like neighbor, coworker, childhood friend, etc. Are those just harder to program because they require more specific input about the owner?
I love how Finn finally figures out what kink works for him, and doesn't recoil. I can easily see after so many negative experiences involving restraining Paulie and taking away Paulie's control, he could be confused and self-loathing. But that isn't the only possible response, and this story is more interesting because it doesn't limit realistic responses by expected responses. And Finn's disgust with the consumer-driven programming for incest-pedo-rape doesn't read as hypocritical later, because we know Finn is moral and a little dominance play doesn't change who he is.
I love how Paulie, who doesn't have the option of going into shock like a human, still does the electronic equivalent and freezes.
I love the portrayal of Finn's disconnect; because he has this personal, intimate relationship that isn't recognized, an invisible traumatic loss, and his mindset is that of the lover of someone terminally ill who might die or, perhaps worse, come back a hollow shell that daily reminds him of what was taken. While those around him, people invisible to him because he is alone in his world of grief, are blind to his bereavement, and are trying to provide excellent consumer care instead of compassion. I think this moment was captured perfectly. Beautifully. Anything more would have seemed excessive, anything less, a loss.
I'm excited to hear this is finished, and will be completed, whether it takes awhile for polished chapters or we get unedited raws. But please, make backup copies and distribute, just in case. I feel like anytime an author mentions they have the next chapters already written, the universe conspires to prevent said chapters from release. A computer crashes, the files are lost/damaged, RL gets crazy, another story demands the author's attention, a tsnuami hits close to the author and none of their friends or fans hear from them again (really wish I was making this up). Basically, now that the universe has been tempted, I wish you the best. I hope, like Finn, you defy expectation. Or if something has to happen, it is another story. OR, even better, RL gets crazy in a good way and we all have to read the last chapters in the published hardcopy Stardust ordered off Amazon before the college lit classes add it to their book list, it is made into a movie, and the mass market editions make it too mainstream to bother recommending it to friends because they were already told they should read it by a talkshow celebrity whose name rhymes with Oh Duh.
Love and hugs!
Unless you aren't a hugger, which is totally cool. I can always express my affection with bakery instead. Just don't tell me you don't eat sweets. That would break my heart.
The story is sooo cute!! Good job!! Hoping for the continue <3