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June 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Loving this story, please continue.
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April 26, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I love this story so much!
Cant wait for more!
Cant wait for more!
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April 11, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Lovely to find you had updated, made the dull morning here in the UK a lot brighter!
Commendable research concerning the background of the story and names of the main characters. I can feel the passion and pride you have for this story (and rightly so), and that makes it a more enjoyable read and you are doing a wonderful job with the structure, direction and plot, and more importantly for me, your wonderful use of adjectives, similes, and metaphors definitely your forte!
‘He had heard the sound of the Bennett’s old country car rattle; cough and wheeze its way into the gravel drive way.’
‘The chain is gold and is as delicate as spider silk.'
Chapter 4
Warming to the teacher-student relationship between Azza and Stefan, who are fast becoming very admirable characters. Still believe there is so much more to Azza than his logical side, and Stefan who I believe is far wiser than we know.
Looking forward to more very soon!!!!
Commendable research concerning the background of the story and names of the main characters. I can feel the passion and pride you have for this story (and rightly so), and that makes it a more enjoyable read and you are doing a wonderful job with the structure, direction and plot, and more importantly for me, your wonderful use of adjectives, similes, and metaphors definitely your forte!
‘He had heard the sound of the Bennett’s old country car rattle; cough and wheeze its way into the gravel drive way.’
‘The chain is gold and is as delicate as spider silk.'
Chapter 4
Warming to the teacher-student relationship between Azza and Stefan, who are fast becoming very admirable characters. Still believe there is so much more to Azza than his logical side, and Stefan who I believe is far wiser than we know.
Looking forward to more very soon!!!!
schedule
April 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 1
Lost in the first three paragraphs, and then completely disappeared into your world of vengeance, retribution, and opportunity for salvation.
In order to highlight the favourite parts, I would have to highlight most the entire chapter and paste it here, so begrudgingly I will choose a few of my many favourite sentences:
‘…his body, cleansed by the tears of heaven...’
“He was a user of children. What I did to him was less then he deserved.”
“I am as my mother made me.”
Chapter 2
The aspect of the story, where you included the church as a centrepiece to define the existence of Azza and Stefan, was interesting.
In terms of age, what are the ages (or age group) of Stefan and Azza. Azza has an ancient soul, while Stefan, I believe is young (in soul), but his body (as described) is mature.
Chapter 3
Explanation received from Cedar as to why Azza became a ‘Fallen’ was perfect. Azza still has anger and he still holds pain for his wife (more I am sure will be revealed). And then asking him, if this could be his Paradise.
Again, great story enjoying it very much,and looking forward to how Azza will cleanse his entire body and return to Paradise to Him, or if he will at all.
Thank you for the triple update!!!!
Lost in the first three paragraphs, and then completely disappeared into your world of vengeance, retribution, and opportunity for salvation.
In order to highlight the favourite parts, I would have to highlight most the entire chapter and paste it here, so begrudgingly I will choose a few of my many favourite sentences:
‘…his body, cleansed by the tears of heaven...’
“He was a user of children. What I did to him was less then he deserved.”
“I am as my mother made me.”
Chapter 2
The aspect of the story, where you included the church as a centrepiece to define the existence of Azza and Stefan, was interesting.
In terms of age, what are the ages (or age group) of Stefan and Azza. Azza has an ancient soul, while Stefan, I believe is young (in soul), but his body (as described) is mature.
Chapter 3
Explanation received from Cedar as to why Azza became a ‘Fallen’ was perfect. Azza still has anger and he still holds pain for his wife (more I am sure will be revealed). And then asking him, if this could be his Paradise.
Again, great story enjoying it very much,and looking forward to how Azza will cleanse his entire body and return to Paradise to Him, or if he will at all.
Thank you for the triple update!!!!
schedule
April 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
So we meet Azza ^^I really like him and his brother!!! And I absoloutly love the idea with the tatoos representing his sin and slowly vanishing when he finds redemtion!!! I really adore this story and i can't wait for more!!! See you again!!!
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April 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
A mesmerising beginning and it seems the start of an epic tale. Sat reading without blinking, in case I missed anything - this is how much I was drawn to the story.
The writing is wonderfully regal, in regards to the grace and effortless movement through the different events and the birth of Stefan was incredibly unique.
Very much enjoyed the prologue and would love to read more very soon!
FM
The writing is wonderfully regal, in regards to the grace and effortless movement through the different events and the birth of Stefan was incredibly unique.
Very much enjoyed the prologue and would love to read more very soon!
FM
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April 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Interesting start^^I like to read more of this!!! See you again soon!!!