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February 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I find it hard to review a story that hasn't been finished. So much of what I enjoy about a story is in the climax and resolution and this story is still just shaping up. So far I find it mildly interesting. Nothing has quite happened to really spark my interest in a way that makes me eager to find out what happens next.
The pace of the story is very mild despite the kidnapping scene and so there is no ANTICIPATION to discover what is happening next, sure his father and sister are worried, but despite being locked in a stone room by an inhuman creature that he witnessed crush an animal to death Rahul does not seam to be very concerned about his future. I'd love to see of in this story Valithsar seducing him beyond his totally rational fear, and for what comes after to be MORE because of it (in that 'I've definitely misjudged you' way rather than the Stockholm syndrome way - just by personal preference, though both would entertaining).
Looking forward to continuing this story, best of luck!
P.S. Maybe you should add a note at the beginning of Forbidden Fun at the Snake Temple, which was how I found this story and I believe you meant this story to be read first.
The pace of the story is very mild despite the kidnapping scene and so there is no ANTICIPATION to discover what is happening next, sure his father and sister are worried, but despite being locked in a stone room by an inhuman creature that he witnessed crush an animal to death Rahul does not seam to be very concerned about his future. I'd love to see of in this story Valithsar seducing him beyond his totally rational fear, and for what comes after to be MORE because of it (in that 'I've definitely misjudged you' way rather than the Stockholm syndrome way - just by personal preference, though both would entertaining).
Looking forward to continuing this story, best of luck!
P.S. Maybe you should add a note at the beginning of Forbidden Fun at the Snake Temple, which was how I found this story and I believe you meant this story to be read first.
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October 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
i really, really like your story. I love naga stories, but i've never read a modern day one before, so kudos to you! Anyway, the island youve created is very beautiful and mysterious. I look forward to learning more about it as well as seeing Val's and Rahul's relationship develope. I'm really looking forward to your next update.
also, just a little advice. i'd recommend you put your warnings in the story description. As specially that you intend the story to be slash. I almost passed this up because i didn't know what to expect.
also, just a little advice. i'd recommend you put your warnings in the story description. As specially that you intend the story to be slash. I almost passed this up because i didn't know what to expect.
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September 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I like this story very much! Other then a few grammer errors which aren't bad at all let me tell you this is a wonderful story! I would love to see where you take it and what happens to all the characters. Keep up the wonderful writing!!
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July 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
That was really nice!!!! I hope that Raul and Val warm up to eachother^^ Hope to hear from you agian soon!!!!
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July 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
then what? looking forward to next chapter
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April 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Off to a good start, I've always loved stories about naga <3