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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 18: You knocked it out of the park again with this chapter! Oh holy shit!! That priest is such scum. The worst kind of evil. God I hate religion. People hide behind it and use it as an excuse to do the vilest things. And Michael telling his mother off at the dinner table was FANTASTIC!! And if I were Edward, I would have left the table too. And OMG! Michael kisses Edward! Swoon!!!! I was kind of worried about Edward after his reaction to Michael asking about if he and Robert were "buddies." I'm a little perplexed as to why Edward was so defensive with his answer. I didn't get the sense that Michael was asking with malice in his voice, like before. He was just curious and maybe a little jealous. He wants Edward even though he hasn't admitted it to himself yet.
Anyways, I love the way you write because it's so realistic and plausible. A lot of times, authors write characters to be so idiotic and stupid in what they say and do in order to create the drama/angst. It's hardly believable and I end up rolling my eyes more often than not. I have to really suspend reality to even get into the story. But your characters are awesomely written. They do things that real people would do and say. Love it!
Anyways, I love the way you write because it's so realistic and plausible. A lot of times, authors write characters to be so idiotic and stupid in what they say and do in order to create the drama/angst. It's hardly believable and I end up rolling my eyes more often than not. I have to really suspend reality to even get into the story. But your characters are awesomely written. They do things that real people would do and say. Love it!
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 19: Shit Shit Shit!!! ARGHHH!! If chapter 20 wasn't already posted, I'd be dying right now to know why the twin was released!!!!
Ok, I'm so excited at how things are progressing between Michael and Edward! Edward finally realizes he wants Michael! Yes!! He cares for him. And even if Michael says nothing back, Edward knows that he cares for him as well. He wouldn't have asked to kiss him if he didn't! And I love Karen so much! She's so blunt! I totally laughed when she asked in the car "Did you guys fuck again?" She absolutely has not TACT!! lol. Love it!
Ok, I'm so excited at how things are progressing between Michael and Edward! Edward finally realizes he wants Michael! Yes!! He cares for him. And even if Michael says nothing back, Edward knows that he cares for him as well. He wouldn't have asked to kiss him if he didn't! And I love Karen so much! She's so blunt! I totally laughed when she asked in the car "Did you guys fuck again?" She absolutely has not TACT!! lol. Love it!
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 20: I love this story! I love this story! I LOVE THIS STORY!!! OMG, I'm just beside myself!!! It's been a long time since a story has gotten my blood pumping like this! I can't wait to see what happens next. I keep jumping from the twin's brother being the killer to Robert! I've suspected Robert for a while now but I just can't quite think of a motive yet as to why he would kill all the kids unless he's obsessed with Edward and wanted to draw him in the investigation. But then again, it was Karen's idea not Robert's to bring Edward in. It's so perplexing! I love it!!
And Edward admits he's fallen for Michael to Karen! Karen is just awesome! She really knows what to say to calm Edward down.
And Edward admits he's fallen for Michael to Karen! Karen is just awesome! She really knows what to say to calm Edward down.
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
WOW! This is such an awesome, and lovely story u got goin' on! The plot is so cool. I love everything about this story! I like the chars! I really hope you manage to complete the series! I think you're a great author. Also, you should let "anonymous" people review this; you might get mo reviews! Just go to "Edit Profile" and uncheck that box that does not allow anons to review.
Please update asap!
Please update asap!
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Oh my gosh! What a wonderfully written and brilliant story. I am enjoying reading it so much and the fact that you update faithfully everyday is super awesome. I love the characters especially Edward and Michael so hope they end up together. I think Karen is great and she makes me laugh. I hope that she doesn't lose the baby or get hurt by the killer. I am so confused as to who the killer could be but am now leaning towards Robert because there is something off about him. I am so happy I was able to finally leave a review so thanks for allowing it for your story.
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Dear Lovely!
Everything about your story is stunning.
I can easily see this as a published novel, movie, TV crime series, simply because your writing is so vivid, and you are able to capture the moment through nuances and internal thought in such detail that everything comes to life beyond the peripheral of each character and scene.
Astounding piece of fiction!
FM
xxxx
Everything about your story is stunning.
I can easily see this as a published novel, movie, TV crime series, simply because your writing is so vivid, and you are able to capture the moment through nuances and internal thought in such detail that everything comes to life beyond the peripheral of each character and scene.
Astounding piece of fiction!
FM
xxxx
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This story it probably one of my favorite gay mystery stories I have ever read, published or online fiction. I love your progression of story. I was very happy that you didn't have your characters jump right into bed after meeting or after finding out Michael was gay. I like the investment into their relationship so we get why the characters are beginning to fall for one another besides just their looks. I also love love love!! how the case isn't almost immediately solved with the addition of Edward. Although as a hooked reader, I must say it is driving me CRAZY not knowing who the killer is. I am truly surprised you haven't been published yet and hope that you try to get published soon because your stories are worth sharing in printed form.
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Started reading it and couldn't get enough until I finished the most recent chapter...Will be waiting for the next update. Thanks for the great story!
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Dangit. I just want to know who this guy is. I keep trying to look back in the story to see if anyone suspicious was mentioned but I can't find anybody...
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January 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I don't do mystery and suspense. Let me get that out first. But this story has me hooked. I am glad that I read it. Had I known it was of that genre, I would have not read, but I am glad I did, because of my own prejudice I would have missed out on a great story. Makes me wonder what other great stories are out there in this genre that I have not read because of my stupidity.
And yes, I admit stupidity, or maybe ignorance because this is one hell of a story. I am so going to favourite you right now. I can't believe how hooked I am. I sat down and read from chapter 1 - 20 without moving. Seriously I ate my dinner at the screen because I did not want to move, almost as if I believed I would have missed something when it is in book form.
I still think its Robert, him the Christine are accomplices, that why Edward can't get a good reading on it. I believe he has the hots for Michael, and it turned personal when Edward came on the scene. He's pissed that someone is playing in his playground, and Christine, her overt sickness and deep squick with the scenes just rings false for a detective. Maybe a rookie, but I think a detective would have sterner stuff.
Anyway, loving it so far. Can't believe it, but looking forward to the rest of the chapters and book two. Damn, you really should be published, no grammar errors, inconsistent detailing, (really hate those, if in chapter 1 the guy is 6'6" and then chapter 3 has him at 6'3" I have a problem, did osteo set in??? sorry for the rant).
You really should see if you could get published. I know I would buy your book, or maybe that is what you have in mind and you are just polishing your art. And for that I thank you.
So onward to chapter 21, can't wait.
And yes, I admit stupidity, or maybe ignorance because this is one hell of a story. I am so going to favourite you right now. I can't believe how hooked I am. I sat down and read from chapter 1 - 20 without moving. Seriously I ate my dinner at the screen because I did not want to move, almost as if I believed I would have missed something when it is in book form.
I still think its Robert, him the Christine are accomplices, that why Edward can't get a good reading on it. I believe he has the hots for Michael, and it turned personal when Edward came on the scene. He's pissed that someone is playing in his playground, and Christine, her overt sickness and deep squick with the scenes just rings false for a detective. Maybe a rookie, but I think a detective would have sterner stuff.
Anyway, loving it so far. Can't believe it, but looking forward to the rest of the chapters and book two. Damn, you really should be published, no grammar errors, inconsistent detailing, (really hate those, if in chapter 1 the guy is 6'6" and then chapter 3 has him at 6'3" I have a problem, did osteo set in??? sorry for the rant).
You really should see if you could get published. I know I would buy your book, or maybe that is what you have in mind and you are just polishing your art. And for that I thank you.
So onward to chapter 21, can't wait.