rate_review Reviews

chap9

Roseath kills the evil woman!!!!!!!

Tarun ! It was Tarun omg! oh no! i had never imagined this happen!~ why Tarun ?!
and just when he found Camlo!!!! omg!!!
what a cliffhanger to catch up to!!! gah!
please update asap!!!

O_O YAYAYA finally he found him now to see what happens love this story looking forward to more

No offense, love, but that was a shit ending to a really damn good story. I really liked the disjointed jumping back and forth between points of view that you had (though, like most things on this site, it needed a bit of refinement) and I thought that you did a damn good job at taking the tired story of a young guy unwillingly betrothed to an old guy and making it interesting. I really liked this story and was a teeny bit excited when I saw you updated.

The ending, however, just didn't feel like the rest of it. To me (and this could be totally wrong, so feel free to just disregard me) it felt like you just threw something out there to be done. It didn't answer questions, I don't think any of the characters grew or changed and the cliffhanger was so absolutely bizarre that rather than feeling like an open ending, it just felt like a cheap set-up for a sequel.

I do hope that you revamp the story (on your own time, no rush!) because I think you've got a good little gem here and I'd like to see what you could REALLY do with the last chapter. Once again, take your time, I know you can't rush creativity and writing, but please come back to it at some point.

Maybe try some NaNoWriMo with it!

??? OMG ! What have you done ! 'sob''sob'
It's very sad...
I really hope you're going to write a new version...
:)

Sorry but what kind of ending was that?
The story started good and endet horrible.
How can you accept such an Ending as Author.
And I don't mean the thing where the Alpha died, just they way you wrote it. To sudden as if "Oh I don't like it anymore I'll just kill this guy off and everything else is like "whatever""....

Sorry no good rating from me. And yes, you really should rewrite it....you could do so much with this story yet you chose to just throw it away. Really sad...

I really like this story but the last chapter left a bad taste in my mouth. Everything just suddenly happened (and it was all implied. No idea exactly HOW camlo found out who the black wolf was or that he died). We never saw what happened to saffra(?) and I felt like it was a lot of (good) buildup but this last chapter seemed like something written just to say it was completed. Their relationship was never actually established as mates or not. They had, literally, almost NO interaction the entire story and I thought this last chapter would give them that (to set up for a sequel). I enjoyed the point of view switch between characters and the plotline as a whole, but I feel the ending could have wrapped more up.
I'm not sure who would have left the flowers...wouldn't tarun have simply stayed by his side without leaving flowers (if he ended up alive)?

tarun sure is stupid. he smells camlo with a bunch of cats and when he sees the cat he assumes it's going to attack camlo NOW, despite knowing camlo was with the cats, unharmed? pft. camlo needs a smarter mate lol

:)))
I think you did well to change the end...
:)))

Hi magnanimous Squirrel. I need an update so bad, I keep checking to see if I missed one. We are all dying to know what happened the morning after Camlo saved Tarun from Roseath. I hope you get the chance to update soon.