rate_review Reviews

Very good story. I am eager to read some more.

The plot thicken !
So he's pregnant with a baby girl ? Cute !
And I can't wait for more O ! Is he going to destroy the temple or something ?

chapters 1-4. i like where the story is going. i hope to read more from you as you update.

Hi again! Yes, you are right, I missed that paragraph, and I apologize for being a sloppy reader... I still think even 140 years isne't that long, though, not for a religious custom like that to form, but of course, sometimes things like that happens faster, like some of our modern-time traditions...

Just read the first chapter, interesting idea! I noticed that you wrote "It was a system that had been maintained for more than a century", though, and, as a century is 100 years, and fetching children every ten years, that means it's only happened ten times (or a bit more since it said "more than a century"... maybe "It was a system that had been maintained for centuries" MIGHT fit better, as religion is involved and this kind of tradition feels like it has to be really old to be "accepted" by the village, if you know what I mean? Hope you don't mind me butting in with that, it's just a suggestion...

Me again, sorry, but I just found a bit of a plot-hole... If the piests got the two babies every thenth year, how could there be a one-year old at the temple now? If E. is 14, there should only be two 4-year olds...?

It's good, better than the first chapter even. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Although I am curious if you've thought the entire plot out or just seeing how it goes as you write.

This is a gtreat start, cant wait for the next update if possible would you email me when you do update :D

There are a few errors and a little to fast paced, but all in all the start is interesting. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Promising ! :)
Waiting for the next chapter...