rate_review Reviews

Nice story! Interesting plot and good characters.
Can't wait for your next update!

Hi. In chapter two at this part you ave a typo.

:

she struggled for words “that is was right. But it is. I know it is”. {is should be it.}

Interesting plot line, but so far the tension is too lax. I've spent the pat 18 mos having my novels critiqued in a critique group. One thing they {especially the editors and publishers} keep stressing is that "If the tension is too lax readers tend to slip away and not come back."

Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be a know it all or anything. I'm just offering some friendly advice as a fellow writer. I like the characters and the plot, but you could kick the tension up a bit. if you'd like some ideas how, feel free to drop me an email and I'll show you some exercises they've taught me. My email address is bidelia78@yahoo.com.

Best Regards,

KittyB78.

This is an amazing story. So hot :D

Very good! I'm curious what they need Josie for so badly. I'm also loving these fast updates :) Hope they keep coming.

I agree with the first reviewer. This story is very good. I'd definitely like to see more of this :)

Really enjoying it despite the lack of smut. I prefer a well-developed plot and characters to mindless sex. Please, keep it coming, i'm looking forward to the next few chapters.

As far as the quality: as I said, I wouldn't enjoy it if the story wasn't enjoyable to read. It's well written, but a little brief. I read the first five chapters in 10-15 minutes...

This story is sounding goooood, keep it coming please.