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January 18, 2018 at 12:00 AM
I read the story until here, but it became obvious to me that you know nothing either about hunger or how hungry people behave. Colan should have starved to death long ago if this was real world. I also can’t have sympathy for a character who doesn’t even possess a little bit of a survival instinct. Even animals know to look for food or feed themselves whenever they have the opportunity.
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August 21, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Great story, 2nd story I read from you, am very impressed :D
Thanks for posting!
Thanks for posting!
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June 10, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter and poor colan I feel bad for him...he try his best and helps Mist everyway he can and the guy still treats him like a servant. I hate him!!! Missy is nice I guess but way to soft..
Poor stef to see his daughter died horrible and pregnant must be awful.
Poor stef to see his daughter died horrible and pregnant must be awful.
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June 10, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Man poor colan I hate that guy who ever he is.
What a horrible place and keeping people lock up in chains...what a sick world.
Great chapter
What a horrible place and keeping people lock up in chains...what a sick world.
Great chapter
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September 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Aww this was such a wonderful ending to a wonderful story :)
Though not gonna lie, I would've loved to read the full details of the rest of that night they spent together ;p
Though not gonna lie, I would've loved to read the full details of the rest of that night they spent together ;p
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August 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM
That was an unexpectedly brilliant story. 'Unexpectedly' because the writing started out very choppy, with awkward phrasings, poor spelling and grammar, wrong vocabulary, etc - but as the story progressed these issues - while still present - became noticeably less frequent.
Writing mistakes aside, your characterization is excellent, the plot is very interesting, and your narrative is always engaging. So many online slash writers tend to overdo it on the inner dialogue, falling into constant loops of angst, over analysis of feelings and so on. You don't have that; you manage to offer just the right amount of insight into the main character's feelings while allowing actions and events to reveal the plot and character motives for us.
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this. I would love to help you edit it properly if you're interested. If you are, just email me on my gmail.com account at mangatake. Thank you very much for sharing this.
Writing mistakes aside, your characterization is excellent, the plot is very interesting, and your narrative is always engaging. So many online slash writers tend to overdo it on the inner dialogue, falling into constant loops of angst, over analysis of feelings and so on. You don't have that; you manage to offer just the right amount of insight into the main character's feelings while allowing actions and events to reveal the plot and character motives for us.
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this. I would love to help you edit it properly if you're interested. If you are, just email me on my gmail.com account at mangatake. Thank you very much for sharing this.
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August 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Romantic ending! Thank you Traxie!
Vasco was Colan's knight in shining armor, after all!
Thank you!
Great story!
R
Vasco was Colan's knight in shining armor, after all!
Thank you!
Great story!
R
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August 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Sigh, I hate endings :( But at least this one had a good ending :) I really enjoyed getting to read this story from start to finish. And I look forward to getting to read more stories of this caliber from you.
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August 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Awww . . . I love happy endings and this kid totally deserved one!
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August 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This is nice ending! Not overly cheesy and all that stuff.. Like the change.