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August 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
haha omg cresil i love you!!!! im so glad your not making him your typical dark scary silent demon type that you always see. who would of thought he'd have such a great sense of humor. o and i loved the scene of him grooming himself. dont worry meier, id be fascinated to! another point im happy about. your not making him act like a human or somethin else when he's a demon. ive seen that in a lot of stories, someone is something but then they end up acting the same as everything else. so brownie points to you. o and thank you, we finally have a description of Cresil! so red eyes, black lips(hmmm), long white hair(white hair hotties rock), white skin, black claws, and wearing a red and gold robe. oh and a wicked tail. he sounds so hot!!! poor nicoli how can he win against someone like that! haha. ok back to the chapter. so the plot thickens. well at least the clan know meier's up to something. gotta say i love andre. he's so cute you just cant hate him, especially when he's molesting nicoli! oh my other favorite scene, gavin attempting to silence andre was great specially when andre bit him and gavin calling him a child, so cute!
[“Aren’t you going to assemble the church’s death squad and put them down?” Andre asked. “I mean, wiping out a bunch of priests has to be a just enough cause and you’d be doing us a huge favor.”
“Andre, you don’t just ask things like that,” Cora said disapprovingly. Her eyes narrowed warningly.
“What? The church’s attack dogs might as well be useful for once.” For that both Gavin and Cora smacked him upside the head. “Ow!”]
haha this was a great scene, andre's a master on how to turn a tense situation into something childish. the scene between nicoli and amelia was good to. such a sweet moment between them is always nice to see. its also nice to see them express there worries and such, it keeps them realistic.
[“What did you do?” Meier demanded when the door closed.
“Who? Me?” Cresil asked innocently.]
who would of thought? a demon trying to act innocent. i laughed so hard here. great job darkness you defiantly know how to balance humor and horror. i like the way your developing cresil and meiers relationship. its like brooding master and childish/disobediant servent. which is similar to his relationship to seth... anyways i wonder , will we get to see cresil in action soon, or will we have to wait? cant wait for your next update darkness!
[“Aren’t you going to assemble the church’s death squad and put them down?” Andre asked. “I mean, wiping out a bunch of priests has to be a just enough cause and you’d be doing us a huge favor.”
“Andre, you don’t just ask things like that,” Cora said disapprovingly. Her eyes narrowed warningly.
“What? The church’s attack dogs might as well be useful for once.” For that both Gavin and Cora smacked him upside the head. “Ow!”]
haha this was a great scene, andre's a master on how to turn a tense situation into something childish. the scene between nicoli and amelia was good to. such a sweet moment between them is always nice to see. its also nice to see them express there worries and such, it keeps them realistic.
[“What did you do?” Meier demanded when the door closed.
“Who? Me?” Cresil asked innocently.]
who would of thought? a demon trying to act innocent. i laughed so hard here. great job darkness you defiantly know how to balance humor and horror. i like the way your developing cresil and meiers relationship. its like brooding master and childish/disobediant servent. which is similar to his relationship to seth... anyways i wonder , will we get to see cresil in action soon, or will we have to wait? cant wait for your next update darkness!
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August 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Poor Lael, I can't wait to find out more about him. And i have a feeling the order will get involved when they find out a demon is helping mier.
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August 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Wewt!! I have a computer again!!! Until my old one is fixed though, I can't get continue my stories... That's where all my data is.. Meh. And... Oh my god.. Is it bad that I freakin' love Cresil? Evil demon man. He's just amusing for some odd reason. I definitely love Lael. He's just a darn sweetheart. I kinda wanna give him a hug. Ooooh.. I can't wait to see what that insane demon is going to do. I feel bad for that poor priest. Can't wait to read the next chapter. Happy writings!!
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August 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
(I AM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED WITH THIS GODDAMN COMPUTER!!! IT KEEPS ERASING MY REVIEW AS I'M TYPING IT!!! IT'S DRIVING ME BONKERS!!!) Lol. This chappie was a lot of fun. I just love pretty much all Nicoli/Amelia interactions. They're always really funny and a lot of times really super cute, too. :) (And btw, their road trip supplies sound eerily similar to my own... xDD Add gummy worms somewhere and Jones cream soda, and you've pretty much got it down pat. And Gatorade. Blueberry Pomegranate flavor. ;P) AND OMFG! Nicoli is driving Ethan's Shelby!! Oh baby!! -drools buckets- But I could just CRY at the disrespect she has to endure by being disguised as an old, beat-up Chevy! Poor girl. Cars have feelings, too, you know? -sniffle- (And why do I have this horrible feeling that something is going to happen to the Shelby..? There's nothing to indicate it, but I just have this feeling... And my feeling's are usually right... about half the time... -sweatdrop-) Lol. I love how Nicoli pulled over to talk to Ethan IN HIS HEAD! xDD But, better safe than sorry, I guess. Thia Lael sounds like an interesting character. Not to mention he has a totally kick-ass name!
Oh no... The calm before the storm. Yes! Vampire priest! Wicked! So he's got a kick-ass name AND a kick-ass persona! Hell yes! I like this guy already! My friend has a vampire priest character, his name's Julian. Lol. He's not your typical priest. xDD Julian reminds me of Wolfwood from Trigun. Haha! Elijah..? Hmm. Curious... I'm developing a theory in my head as we speak... Although, I'm probably way off. Man, Lael is one amazing vampire... I feel sorry for him, though. Becoming a vampire was obviously a very traumatizing experience for him, but he endured and dealt and kept his faith. He's definitely a very admirable person. Ahaha!! I had a feeling Nicoli would have the hots for him. I'm just waiting to hear Ethan's reaction to hearing that. Lol.
Judging by that last part, I think Conrad might be getting an earful tonight when they meet up with Lael about Nicoli and Amelia tagging along on such a dangerous quest. xP
OMFG! I want one so freakin' baaaaaaad!! -goes looking online for one she can save up for- ... - comes back to say the usual closing statement- I loved this chapter to pieces! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter and seeing more of Lael. ;D I'm sure Nicoli feels the same, so he can oogle him some more. Lol. (I'm kind of hoping something like that WILL happen, and then Ethan will get jealous and pinch Nik's rear or something. -cackles- That would be so funny.) But seriously, Lael is a really fascinating character, and I'm anxious to learn more about him. And maybe clear up or confirm some of the suspicions I'm feeling. So, see you in two days, Darky! -glomps you-
Oh no... The calm before the storm. Yes! Vampire priest! Wicked! So he's got a kick-ass name AND a kick-ass persona! Hell yes! I like this guy already! My friend has a vampire priest character, his name's Julian. Lol. He's not your typical priest. xDD Julian reminds me of Wolfwood from Trigun. Haha! Elijah..? Hmm. Curious... I'm developing a theory in my head as we speak... Although, I'm probably way off. Man, Lael is one amazing vampire... I feel sorry for him, though. Becoming a vampire was obviously a very traumatizing experience for him, but he endured and dealt and kept his faith. He's definitely a very admirable person. Ahaha!! I had a feeling Nicoli would have the hots for him. I'm just waiting to hear Ethan's reaction to hearing that. Lol.
Judging by that last part, I think Conrad might be getting an earful tonight when they meet up with Lael about Nicoli and Amelia tagging along on such a dangerous quest. xP
OMFG! I want one so freakin' baaaaaaad!! -goes looking online for one she can save up for- ... - comes back to say the usual closing statement- I loved this chapter to pieces! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter and seeing more of Lael. ;D I'm sure Nicoli feels the same, so he can oogle him some more. Lol. (I'm kind of hoping something like that WILL happen, and then Ethan will get jealous and pinch Nik's rear or something. -cackles- That would be so funny.) But seriously, Lael is a really fascinating character, and I'm anxious to learn more about him. And maybe clear up or confirm some of the suspicions I'm feeling. So, see you in two days, Darky! -glomps you-
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August 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Here I was thinking that something amazing was gonna happen, like the big spooky demon coming for Nicoli, but it was a new character instead. I rather like him. He seems really interesting. What in the world does he want though? I guess I need to wait and see huh..? xD Good news. I'm getting a computer for school. Too bad I won't get much time to write. Well, at least write fun things. Have fun writing the next chapter. ^^
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August 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
hmmm...well, nice chapter. it progressed some. i'm a bit worried though about nicholi and amelia's characterization though. they seem a little flat to me compared to book 1.
i was reading the story and blocked out their names, and really i could pretend that they were one voice, one character, instead of two different people with two different personalities. i could pretend nicoli was saying was amelia was saying, and vice versa, and they both seemed like the same character to me.
it sort of made them seem boring as characters. it sort of feels like you're only giving them the dialogue that pops out from your mind onto the paper, stuff that needs to be said to get the page rolling but not really stuff that portrays who Nicholi and Amerlia are as characters.
TBH i sort of feel that this whole chapter could've been condensed to 1-2 pages, it was very slow moving and i did start to skim a little.
but overall good effort and nice to see you enjoy writing.
i was reading the story and blocked out their names, and really i could pretend that they were one voice, one character, instead of two different people with two different personalities. i could pretend nicoli was saying was amelia was saying, and vice versa, and they both seemed like the same character to me.
it sort of made them seem boring as characters. it sort of feels like you're only giving them the dialogue that pops out from your mind onto the paper, stuff that needs to be said to get the page rolling but not really stuff that portrays who Nicholi and Amerlia are as characters.
TBH i sort of feel that this whole chapter could've been condensed to 1-2 pages, it was very slow moving and i did start to skim a little.
but overall good effort and nice to see you enjoy writing.
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August 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
OMG! your my savior, my hero, my stress reliever! I love you!!!!!! *crying over stress* I've been wandering the streets today after work to find something that will make me happy and thank you for updating! More and more mysteries are building up and I'm getting excited to the updates. I wonder what Nicoli is... >v< I'm getting curious now and Very nice new characters, they all have unique characteristics and personality. I can already imagine what they look like hahaha... The enemy vampires gives me chills but I love them so much. I'm blushing when I imagine the gory situation they're in. Oh the love and cruelty they are showing are just marvelous.... hope you can update soon. your story gives me joy. really <3
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August 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I really liked Lael and hope to see more of him. Overall I'd have to say I enjoyed this chapter. I'd have to agree with hmm.. though, Nicoli and Amelia did seem well a little flat compared to other chapters. I'm curious to see what's up is it the other priets deaths or is something else going on that has Lael seeking help.
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August 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh that was grat!!!! I really lik our vap priest^^ But it really has to be a terrible existance denying what you are:( Poor guy probably had a hard life!!!! Anyway I really can't wait for more!!!! See you!!!!
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August 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
hey darkness long time no see right? lol just kidding its only been a week. god it feels like forever. im addicted to this story. hmmm Lael is truly a mystifying creature, plus he sounds hot which is always a bonus. hmmm a naughty priest, i think you just fulfilled the kinky quota for the week. haha im just playin with ya. but seriously stop making such suckable...whoops i mean likable characters!..i cant figure out who i like most anymore. well thats not completely true. Seth is always at the top so i guess i cant figure out whose equal to him. ah crap i take that back Cresil is equal with Seth. so i guess right after them is where my next likable character goes and thats what im confused on because you keep introducing such great characters! (except roni i still dislike her.) but back to the chapter. { “Um, Lael? Er, Father Lael?” Amelia asked.
The vampire priest Lael straightened and turned towards them with a smile.
“Yes?” he said and his voice was smooth and crystalline. No wonder the students like to listen to him talk. Light brown eyes looked at Amelia, but when they settled on Nicoli the smile fell from his face and a look of surprise replaced it.
The stare made Nicoli feel very uncomfortable.
“What?” he finally asked.
“Oh, do forgive me,” Father Lael said, shaking his head. “But you…could you possibly be Elijah?”
Nicoli and Amelia looked at each other.
“Noooo, my name is Nicoli.”
Father Lael gave a nervous laugh.
“I apologize for the mix up. You look just like one of my old students. Haven’t seen that boy since he was eleven. I imagine you two would look very similar now that he’s older. Oh, but I am rambling. How can I help you, children?”}this was possibly the greatest part to this chapter(other than lael himself). this is a greatly written scene darkness. it gives such a hint at the plot and at the same time still remains mysterious. but i think im starting to connect the dots of the story, or im just getting everything completely wrong and it will turn out completely different from what im thinking. but ill keep my mouth shut for now and just wait and see how the story goes. Lael's part at the end was great too. its nice to see things from other characters views sometimes.(just dont go crazy then everything gets completely crazy) i would love to have a chapter from Seth's point of view. thanks for another great chapter, huggies!!!
The vampire priest Lael straightened and turned towards them with a smile.
“Yes?” he said and his voice was smooth and crystalline. No wonder the students like to listen to him talk. Light brown eyes looked at Amelia, but when they settled on Nicoli the smile fell from his face and a look of surprise replaced it.
The stare made Nicoli feel very uncomfortable.
“What?” he finally asked.
“Oh, do forgive me,” Father Lael said, shaking his head. “But you…could you possibly be Elijah?”
Nicoli and Amelia looked at each other.
“Noooo, my name is Nicoli.”
Father Lael gave a nervous laugh.
“I apologize for the mix up. You look just like one of my old students. Haven’t seen that boy since he was eleven. I imagine you two would look very similar now that he’s older. Oh, but I am rambling. How can I help you, children?”}this was possibly the greatest part to this chapter(other than lael himself). this is a greatly written scene darkness. it gives such a hint at the plot and at the same time still remains mysterious. but i think im starting to connect the dots of the story, or im just getting everything completely wrong and it will turn out completely different from what im thinking. but ill keep my mouth shut for now and just wait and see how the story goes. Lael's part at the end was great too. its nice to see things from other characters views sometimes.(just dont go crazy then everything gets completely crazy) i would love to have a chapter from Seth's point of view. thanks for another great chapter, huggies!!!