schedule
January 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Your story isn't bad. Your characters and plot are consistent and the overall layout is good. You just need help fine-tuning it. Your main issues are spelling and grammar, as well as tense. Little things that are easily fixed.
If you'd like, I can beta this, starting at chapter 1, and help correct any errors and point out anything that doesn't flow or match up. If you'd like to take me up on my offer, I have an account in the forums under the same name. You can either contact me there or get my email from that account and use that. I like helping make a story the best it can be. :)
If I hear from you, that'll be great! If I don't, I hope you find a beta that you work well with. :)
If you'd like, I can beta this, starting at chapter 1, and help correct any errors and point out anything that doesn't flow or match up. If you'd like to take me up on my offer, I have an account in the forums under the same name. You can either contact me there or get my email from that account and use that. I like helping make a story the best it can be. :)
If I hear from you, that'll be great! If I don't, I hope you find a beta that you work well with. :)
schedule
January 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM
yayyy you're back and with a great chapter too!
schedule
January 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM
love the story
schedule
January 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM
UPDATE - I LOVE IT
schedule
January 1, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Please say that you are going to add more to this story?!?!?!?! I hope it will be soon!
schedule
November 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hey......When are you going to upload another chapter????? I cannot wait!!!!
schedule
October 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
That was so great!!! And so hot!!! I really loved this chappy!!!
schedule
October 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I really, really, really LOVE this story. I was thrilled when I saw you updated it! We finally get to see how the vampire world works. And I gasped when semen is consider a powerful food! That was ingenious! Now poor Cal will go around worried every vamp will want to get in his pants to suck him off. What a terrible thing to worry about :) lol. Yes, that is definitely a power Cal will need to learn how to wield. I'm so looking forward to him learning how :)
What I am really curious about is their sexual customs. This of course stems from Achilion giving a bj to Cal in front of his mate, Mike. Is monogamy not expected nor encouraged when mated? Hopefully you can touch on this when you come back to the story after November :( which totally sucks but I understand. Just please, don't abandon this!!! I already have so many other stories where authors have stopped writing. :(
What I am really curious about is their sexual customs. This of course stems from Achilion giving a bj to Cal in front of his mate, Mike. Is monogamy not expected nor encouraged when mated? Hopefully you can touch on this when you come back to the story after November :( which totally sucks but I understand. Just please, don't abandon this!!! I already have so many other stories where authors have stopped writing. :(
schedule
October 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
OMG!! I love the little action at the pool side! But it is sad that Cal is so afraid to have people touch him!
Ok..one thing...The thing that Michel wants to open with Cal is like a hotel?? or a ...what I am comfused! But i will keep rereading the story till i try to understand it!! Thanks for another great update!!
Ok..one thing...The thing that Michel wants to open with Cal is like a hotel?? or a ...what I am comfused! But i will keep rereading the story till i try to understand it!! Thanks for another great update!!
schedule
October 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is my new favorite story. It is AMAZING, GREAT, AWESOME, FANTASTIC... Please write more, more, more.