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May 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Omg, this chapter was so fucking funny! Shit, little Taylor can sure dish it out, can't he? I think Matt has met his match! hahah
Great chapter, I was cracking up the whole time I was reading it. =)
Great chapter, I was cracking up the whole time I was reading it. =)
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May 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 5 review
I totally loved this chapter featuring Taylor's 'punishment' even though I think Matt enjoyed it way to much.
I adore Matt especially in his role of dominant and think Taylor's a riot with his attitude. These guys are a perfect match and I can't wait to see more sparks fly between them. Thx so much for updating and I am really
having fun reading this story.
I totally loved this chapter featuring Taylor's 'punishment' even though I think Matt enjoyed it way to much.
I adore Matt especially in his role of dominant and think Taylor's a riot with his attitude. These guys are a perfect match and I can't wait to see more sparks fly between them. Thx so much for updating and I am really
having fun reading this story.
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May 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I laughed at the end when I read how Taylor was walking. Good chapter. Mason does seem to be awfully persistent, will Matt or Taylor get the chance to put him in his place either after the investigation is over or in the club? Is Mason in with the creepy guy that was watching them in the beginning (who is likely the killer)? Poor Nathan, I wonder what will happen to him. The teasing between Taylor and Matt was great even though I think Matt enjoyed the spanking a bit too much. :) And Taylor making those threats to Matt while putting on a show was really fun to read.
You really incorporated elements of BDSM in this well and the grammar was good, I look forward to seeing your next chapter.
P.S. I'm happy that you both think Bitter Sweet is great as well.
You really incorporated elements of BDSM in this well and the grammar was good, I look forward to seeing your next chapter.
P.S. I'm happy that you both think Bitter Sweet is great as well.
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May 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is hot. Love the story so far. Looking forward to reading more.
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May 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh man, poor Taylor! Personally, I don't get S&M and bondage and whatnot. I like equal partners. Anyway, hopefully Taylor won't have to sacrifice his own morals and beliefs before the night is through.
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May 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Original Reviewer: Pupette (Email Hidden)
Date of original review: 2011-05-05
Original review id # 3000176879
I look forward to this story i really like the plot!
I just don't understand why are you rewriting the already written chapters,I really think they were fabulous; oh well,you're the author,you're the one who decides :D
Good luck!
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May 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I love it. Bring on chapter 5 and Taylor's punishment for not swallowing all of Matt's load. I can't wait. I bet it will be good but maybe not for poor Taylor. I am not sure about this Mason dude and am thinking he's going to be causing trouble. What's with the guy being sneaky and hiding behind a pot watching everyone, I bet he's the killer. Update soon, I love this story.
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May 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Original Reviewer: Ms. Persephone
Email: Hidden
Original Date of Review: 2011-04-13
id # 3000175597
Hey! Please do not take my constructive criticism as a bad review! I read your author's panel and cannot believe you think you shouldn't have tried to write a story! Most people don't realize how hard it is to write compelling characters. There's always going to be something cliche, mary-sue, and eye rolling to a person's story. But most of the time the good outweighs the bad. Please do not give up! I've taken down a story of mine at the moment because I'm unhappy with the writing and the plot progression...but that's because I feel like I can do better - not because I listened to a some reviewers who probably haven't written anything in their life.
As to writing inner monologues...just pick up your favorite book and read a few chapters to see how the author builds their inner monologue. Make sure the point of view of your story is written in the same perspective though. Feel free to email if you want to bounce ideas around.
Email: Hidden
Original Date of Review: 2011-04-13
id # 3000175597
Hey! Please do not take my constructive criticism as a bad review! I read your author's panel and cannot believe you think you shouldn't have tried to write a story! Most people don't realize how hard it is to write compelling characters. There's always going to be something cliche, mary-sue, and eye rolling to a person's story. But most of the time the good outweighs the bad. Please do not give up! I've taken down a story of mine at the moment because I'm unhappy with the writing and the plot progression...but that's because I feel like I can do better - not because I listened to a some reviewers who probably haven't written anything in their life.
As to writing inner monologues...just pick up your favorite book and read a few chapters to see how the author builds their inner monologue. Make sure the point of view of your story is written in the same perspective though. Feel free to email if you want to bounce ideas around.
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May 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 1/Review
I really love this story so far and am going to read the other version today too!
Taylor Swift, LOL, poor Matt!! Taylor sure proved just because he's small and a blonde that he's not someone to be messed with and can take care of himself.
Something tells me that Cam won't let his friend live this down.
I am interested to seeing what happens next and whether or not more sparks will fly (of the good kind that is).
I really love this story so far and am going to read the other version today too!
Taylor Swift, LOL, poor Matt!! Taylor sure proved just because he's small and a blonde that he's not someone to be messed with and can take care of himself.
Something tells me that Cam won't let his friend live this down.
I am interested to seeing what happens next and whether or not more sparks will fly (of the good kind that is).
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May 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I just read this story for the first time today and am glad I found it.
I really like it and love the chemistry between Taylor and Matt. I also like Matt's partner Cam very much too, he's a riot.
Poor Taylor, not swallowing all of Matt's come like he was instructed. Ooooh, Taylor's in TROUBLE!!!!!!
I really like it and love the chemistry between Taylor and Matt. I also like Matt's partner Cam very much too, he's a riot.
Poor Taylor, not swallowing all of Matt's come like he was instructed. Ooooh, Taylor's in TROUBLE!!!!!!