schedule
November 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I enjoyed your story, thanks for sharing!
It's more difficult to write one shots than people think, cramming so much information into a rushed timeline is a tricky thing.
You did a pretty good job though :) There was definitely an understanding of the characters' basic personalities (pensive, sentimental, spontaneous). It would be nice to add more character development however. Maybe more dialogue to give the story more depth. There were also quite a few typos but they didn't interupt the flow of the story. It was a sweet interaction, and the juicy scenes were written nicely. Keep up the writing!
It's more difficult to write one shots than people think, cramming so much information into a rushed timeline is a tricky thing.
You did a pretty good job though :) There was definitely an understanding of the characters' basic personalities (pensive, sentimental, spontaneous). It would be nice to add more character development however. Maybe more dialogue to give the story more depth. There were also quite a few typos but they didn't interupt the flow of the story. It was a sweet interaction, and the juicy scenes were written nicely. Keep up the writing!