rate_review Reviews

I really like your story and your writing, but I find that the further we go along, the more confusing it gets? Some of it is grammar or language or something where we don't know who's talking - like why would Tanis suddenly talk to his mother when he's weeks away from where she is? - but most of it is you kind of skimming through the important, world-explaining parts? Which is frustrating for me because I honestly really like this story a lot and your writing is quite good - you keep it clear and concise and, bar the occasional typo and grammar mistake which we all make, it's very agreeable to read - but I'm getting so confused it's hard to read.

Maybe this is because it's all clear in your head and you kind of assume that it's clear for us as well? Anyways, my point is: it would be great if you could go over the past few chapters and rewrite some of the unclear parts to explain things in more detail... Like the whole Una/Durth thing (originally I thought Durth was talking about himself when he said that Una had taken on a Sidhe plaything) and what's their relationship to Whisper. Also, how did Mel figure out the boys (wasn't it women originally?) who were washing him were Deaths? What exactly is a death's role? Why would Whisper get mad at Mel for reassuring Tanis? Did Mel suddenly use some kind of subconscious power to do this which would normally be Whisper's domain or was just the words - whoever is not Whisper may not cheer other people up? I mean, it's just little things but I'm really intrigued by your world and I know some of this is things we'll figure out later in the story but I feel like I should have understood most of this stuff and I didn't - which is extremely frustrating.

Otherwise it's a great story so please keep posting!

Some of the issues in this story are somehow outlandishly funny. The communication barrier (hilarious), the arguements between Durth and Una. They sound like issues that should be taken with the utmost seriousness, but the scenes work as comic relief to more pressing situations. Loving your story. Thanks.

I can't wait to read about this long talk:) I love how you update this story so fast! Please keep it up.

Bad! Clivy! Bad Bad Bad!!!
Dont leave me hanging like that please...gnaws on the leftovers of her fingernails....argh.

i really like this story :) it confuses the hell out of me sometimes and i have to read it multiple times to understand because there's so many characters in 1 go, looking forward to the next update!

This chapter was pretty funny. I sure didn’t see it take that direction. And I love Durth. I can only smile as I imagine how Tanis must have felt when Durth began his little speech demonstration.

great fun. :) I liked the last couple of chapters. I wouldnät be to worried about others not getting all the descriptions or lingo. you have explained it in the story, but otherwise there are allways the other stories that do make a big diff. if you have read them.

UhOh...Una, shakes head...will he ever learn?

I'm loving this! Keep up the great work!!

wow. nice. reallly nice.