rate_review Reviews

I do not like Jarg in this chapter. Sex is something both persons should want, not something you are forced into like a whore. If it’s any other way than mutually wanted, it IS rape. And what is this about “then be a good woman and spread those legs”, as if that’s all a woman is good for. It’s degrading for the people who’s being treated like whores as well as for the Sidhe. I am more and more losing respect for Jarg.

I hate affn sometimes...ate my review.
Ewww eating bugs. I hope the poor one who has the lucky job will be ok.
And I would love to punch some of the generation Deaths of Mel where it hurts the most^_^

lol. what?

woah woah woah, and you stopped it there?
yea, i dont much like jarg either.

I have to say I'm absolutely in love with this fic, I must've read it twice and in some places several times already. I ADORE Lou and Mel and they both seem to have interesting backgrounds and they are so cute!
Can't wait for more! <3

damn right in the good part lol. update soon

Ahem. Well. Since I like your story, I'd give you a detailed response. Please take it as a constructive criticism.

I find out some main faults at the telling so far;
- You don't describe how your characters look like, or what they wear. At first, I liked it, since I can't stand the stories which begin with two paragraphs of the writer describing her perfect, well toned character, with sleek muscles, crystal blue eyes specked with just a bit of honey colour near the center, wearing tight fitting leather pants, etc etc. But I still can't quite figure out how a Sidhe is supposed to look, or what makes it so different from humans. When you mentioned a cold nose, I was surprised.
- When I think about it, you also sort of write like everyone who reads it should know everything. Deaths, Whispers? Why, of course, we have a couple of those in the village down the street. Again, I don't think you should spout it all out on the very beginning, but do keep in mind that reading all these terms, and keeping track of them, at some point, will get tedious.
- Other than that. Language barriers? Different customs? AWESOME.The part when Mel said something and Low was taken aback like a puppy was adorable.
- I don't really like how Mel is kind of a whore, in a way, but that's for you to decide. Thought Lou would be a bit more possessive, too, but maybe he's being considerate.

So keep it up!

Update soon I wannna read more!

Am I the only one who can't stand Jarg and the other Deaths? I feel so sorry for poor Mel! They treat him so badly, and use him for their own 'relief'. Doesn't he have any say in what he wants? I hope things get better for him, and I hope he'll get closer to Lou. :) Can't wait for the next update!!

wow, another interesting story :)