schedule
April 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I just came across this story again by acccident and am sorry to say I had forgotten about it since you hadn't
updated in almost two whole months! I really enjoyed the first chapter and this new one left me filled of
sadness for Brennan and what he's going through at the hands of those monsters! My heart really goes out to him and I hope his spirit is not broken to the point he will never recover from his ordeal. This story is very intense and it is due to your incredible writing ability. Good job and keep it up. You might want to mention in the next chapter how often you plan to update this story (i.e., once a month/weekly/etc.) so any one following it will know and can keep an eye out for updates better that way. I also thought I would mention that I noticed you have only allowed story for signed in reviews but you may get more reviews if you allow annonymous reviews. Just thought I would mention it to you for your consideration.
Good job and keep writing, I want to find out what happens to Brennan later.
updated in almost two whole months! I really enjoyed the first chapter and this new one left me filled of
sadness for Brennan and what he's going through at the hands of those monsters! My heart really goes out to him and I hope his spirit is not broken to the point he will never recover from his ordeal. This story is very intense and it is due to your incredible writing ability. Good job and keep it up. You might want to mention in the next chapter how often you plan to update this story (i.e., once a month/weekly/etc.) so any one following it will know and can keep an eye out for updates better that way. I also thought I would mention that I noticed you have only allowed story for signed in reviews but you may get more reviews if you allow annonymous reviews. Just thought I would mention it to you for your consideration.
Good job and keep writing, I want to find out what happens to Brennan later.
schedule
April 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Holy cow, what an intense and psychological thriller you have going here. I really feel bad for Brennan
and want to beat the shit out of Al and Phil for the sick game they are playing on the poor kid. I hope
they don't plan to kill Brennan once they are done with him but don't think so because he is alive in
the first chapter. I love the show Criminal Minds and this story matches up to it even though there
are no FBI Profilers in it just the story line itself could be like an episode of it.
W.T.
and want to beat the shit out of Al and Phil for the sick game they are playing on the poor kid. I hope
they don't plan to kill Brennan once they are done with him but don't think so because he is alive in
the first chapter. I love the show Criminal Minds and this story matches up to it even though there
are no FBI Profilers in it just the story line itself could be like an episode of it.
W.T.
schedule
April 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
It was nice to see you have uploaded another new chapter to this story. I feel so bad for poor Brennan and
all he is being put through by those sadists Phil and Al. I will be so happy when the day finally arrives and Brennan escapes or is rescued. I can't believe they are filming Brennan's torture/rape but know it's probably
so they can make money by selling it.
all he is being put through by those sadists Phil and Al. I will be so happy when the day finally arrives and Brennan escapes or is rescued. I can't believe they are filming Brennan's torture/rape but know it's probably
so they can make money by selling it.
schedule
March 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I wish you would continue writing this story. I would like to know what happens to Brennan.
I think you did a wonderful job with chapter one and that it was very well written. I would
be disappointed should you discontinue it indefinitely and think it would be a waste of your
incredible talent.
I think you did a wonderful job with chapter one and that it was very well written. I would
be disappointed should you discontinue it indefinitely and think it would be a waste of your
incredible talent.
schedule
February 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM
D:
I was so dissapointed when i went to go for the next chapter and there was none!!
This is such a good story, i can't wait to see what happens next! Pretty flawless story so far i must say :) Very realistic.
I really do hope you update soon! You earned yourself another fan. :]
schedule
February 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Interesting start!!! I'm eagerly waiting for more!!!
schedule
February 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
What an intense and mind driven story, very well written too. It's like we as the reader
are walking in Brennan's shoes. It seems like he is suffering a bad case of Stolkholm Syndrom
(sorry can't spell it). I really hope he meets someone that can help him feel safe again
and finds happiness with that person. Update soon and thanks for sharing your story.
are walking in Brennan's shoes. It seems like he is suffering a bad case of Stolkholm Syndrom
(sorry can't spell it). I really hope he meets someone that can help him feel safe again
and finds happiness with that person. Update soon and thanks for sharing your story.
schedule
February 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Wow, what an intriguing story! And so well written! :)
I can't wait to see what happens next and why those thugs kidnapped Brennan. Great job! :)
I can't wait to see what happens next and why those thugs kidnapped Brennan. Great job! :)
schedule
February 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is starting out as an interesting, well-written story! Your writing style is comfortable to read and the story has started on a good note. I like (and hate, like any reader) how you ended on a cliffhanger and I can't wait to find out what is going to happen to Brennan. The only thing that bothers me is how you wrote his almost escape once the truck came to a stop.
Nearly everyone who uses their eyes becomes disorientated once they are blindfolded. It seems unrealistic that he would run completely upright and without tripping as he tries to escape, especially when he'd already gotten somewhat mixed around after struggling with his captors. It also screws with your balance when your arms are bound, which would compound his inability to actually run from the other men.
Also, he'd just gotten out of the truck and on the ground when he broke out of his captors' grips and turned to run. He would have run into the truck since that's what was directly behind him. Might want to just change that slightly by having them walk a bit away from the truck before his failed escape.
I hope this came out as constructive criticism and not that I'm being an ass. I truely like this story and am really looking forward to what you come up with next! =)
Nearly everyone who uses their eyes becomes disorientated once they are blindfolded. It seems unrealistic that he would run completely upright and without tripping as he tries to escape, especially when he'd already gotten somewhat mixed around after struggling with his captors. It also screws with your balance when your arms are bound, which would compound his inability to actually run from the other men.
Also, he'd just gotten out of the truck and on the ground when he broke out of his captors' grips and turned to run. He would have run into the truck since that's what was directly behind him. Might want to just change that slightly by having them walk a bit away from the truck before his failed escape.
I hope this came out as constructive criticism and not that I'm being an ass. I truely like this story and am really looking forward to what you come up with next! =)
schedule
February 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Very realistic. Your writing is extremely appropriate - this is an actual kidnapping and rape you're describing in a very serious tone - and you really bring out the mindset our victim is in, particularly in the first few paragraph. Your writing's got that little extra thing that keeps people hooked and honestly? This isn't much yet but it's looking like it's going to be one of my favourite online stories. :) Thank you so much for sharing!!