rate_review Reviews

I think you certainly have an interesting idea here, but you might want to watch the 'data dump' at the beginning of your story. I understand you're describing the setting for your tale, but it can be done just as easily over time, especially given your subject. Rather than throwing all of that information at your readers, tell us only what we need to know to meet Gavin. Once Jeni is free, then introduce us to the details as Gavin educates her.

I am intrigued by your premise, and I do hope that you some day plan to continue this.

Happy writing!