schedule
January 29, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I like it so far. It`s really cute, altough Jake and Evan are both a little bit stereotype. It sounds like a sweet little love story, but I miss some tension or exitement. What really annoys me is your handling of the tenses in the story. Your writing mixes present and past tense...thats just really hard to read. For me ( I`m not a native english speaker) the mixing of the tenses makes it sound like it was written by someone who is just learning the english language. Please try to stay with the past tense it would be so much more fun to read.
schedule
January 28, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I'm liking this so far! Your characters are developing nicely!
I hope you update sooner next time though ;)
I hope you update sooner next time though ;)
schedule
January 28, 2011 at 12:00 AM
It's a cute story so far, a little cliche, but still cute. So I await your next update.
schedule
January 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Aww, Evan's so cute and skittish! lol It'll take Jake some time before Evan can feel comfortable again I think. And it's good Jake decided to sleep on the couch; who said chivalry was dead? hahah
schedule
January 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I loved chapter three it was nice to see Evan show some backbone.
Although I loved the cliche: there is a reason certain things are cliche it because everyone loves them so much that you just have to use em'
Although I loved the cliche: there is a reason certain things are cliche it because everyone loves them so much that you just have to use em'
schedule
January 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Please email me when you update: narcoleptic86@gmail.com
schedule
January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Awww, poor Evan. I can't believe the kids in the bookstore! Omg, I thought they were in college, not elementary school!! What asses.
At least Evan knows Jake isn't freaked out about his eyes.
Good chapter; looking forward to more! :)
At least Evan knows Jake isn't freaked out about his eyes.
Good chapter; looking forward to more! :)
schedule
January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
"No, please talk to me. I'm lonely and tired and I miss you?"
MY HEART JUST FELL OUT OF MY CHEST INTO THE MOTORWAY D: D: ;_;
Though, I like that kind of angst >.< It's a good kind of hurt in a fic (:
Personally, I think the different coloured eyes it hot!
I can't wait to see more of Jake, too!
Great start! Please update soon!
MOARNAO
plzkthnxbai♥
MY HEART JUST FELL OUT OF MY CHEST INTO THE MOTORWAY D: D: ;_;
Though, I like that kind of angst >.< It's a good kind of hurt in a fic (:
Personally, I think the different coloured eyes it hot!
I can't wait to see more of Jake, too!
Great start! Please update soon!
MOARNAO
plzkthnxbai♥
schedule
January 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
As a shy person and a college student it is really easy to relate to Evan. I'm looking forward to more.
schedule
January 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Yay! Let's hear it for "packing the ca in the gaage"! haha, ok, so that was lame. I went to school in Boston and it probably took me five years to stop talking with the Beantown accent. lol
I love this story! So far it's great! Can't wait to read what happens next! :)
I love this story! So far it's great! Can't wait to read what happens next! :)