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for Unlikely To Be

by Damarkus

person lovelyl
schedule December 30, 2010 at 12:00 AM
You have a good idea with this story even if its been done before. I found this chapter a little rushed especially getting the two together. I also found it a bit weird why the parents would let 2 teenage kids of opposite sex stay in the same room surely they can't be that dumb. Also a bit jumpy one min they meet the next on the same room? You miss out why they hate each other and the fights. I would love to read about those and the sexual tension. Perhaps a revise and edit pace it out even a one shot is more spaced out.