rate_review Reviews

Hey! Just wanted to let ya know that the formatting in Chapters 19 and 23 of Muffin are now different, and I think it has something to do with the latest updates this site had. You can read more about it if you click on the "News" tab if ya want. Thought it was important to inform u in case you wanted to fix it! xD

My internet connection is iffy, so I'll skip most of my usual rambling and just say getting a chapter on "Matthew" is wonderful, as usual. Miss the review replies, especially since it was fun to try to guess the next ch. from your comments, but understandable.

And Frederic, you hussy! Matthew is not meant for French whores! Although I can understand him running away from his ~true luv in Vincenzo (or Asher), because it's all too much for him right now.

Your cliffhangers never cease to torture us. lol

I dunno what to feel about that last bit.

I see you.... Matthew!!!! You could at least have read the name too!!! or the number!!! or something!!! SOME OTHER HINT!!! now it's like a cliffhanger. and I just bloody hope things wont turn too bad, too soon. Matty needs time to tHINK!!! he never gets enough time to think. or to just whatever. but then again......... he's had a few years. no more pity for matty?

I've stopped calling him muffin i realise. I think seeing this 'dominant' side of him is something else. But even with him being on top. it still felt very.... non domineering. xD haha! Sorry Matty!!! You hold no flame against Asher... ASHER!!!
I hope you hear that name louder in your head. AAASSSHHHEEEERRR!!!

Heheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
okay, can't say much eh. except..... I reaaalllyy dooonn't seeee things going very far between Goomba and Mario.... just how in the world is that gonna work man?! how in the world are you gonna make it happen?!?!?! it's gotta be some sorta freak miracle!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE IT HAPPEN! lol.
and I miss Asher~ :3

later~ :D

- nekoii

Original Useful Info:
“I haven't read the chapter yet at the time of this posting (will soon and will review again) but one way you could warn anyone without hassle is maybe a facebook or twitter post specific for this story. All you'd have to do is type "New chapter # up." post and everyone who is subscribed would know. It's just a small effort more. “
“Readers who want to use Google Reader to keep track of your feed can use gtweetapp.appspot.com/profile ! “

Actual Re-Review:

I really like the way you keep using phrases of foreign languages in your stories, it really gives them a bit of extra flavour and creates a sense of commitment to the story since no translations are really provided and we have to go search for them, if we want, because the other great thing is that the meaning of foreign phrases can very well be deducted from the situation. That said, you have a few mistakes that I noticed in your French for this chapter. For example, where Fred (I'm calling him that, yes.) asks Matt if he missed him, he uses the first person pronoun. It should be “Avez-vous me manquez”. Also, when Matt says it's nothing, the expression you used, while technically correct, is more often used to mean “you're welcome”; the correct expression should be a plain “Rien”. One other mistake I noticed, this one in English, is that you wrote Santa Clause, instead of Claus.

Now, the plot itself...oh boy, where to start here?
The first thing I have to ask right off the bat is...does Vin actually like/love Matt? Or is he just trying to make Matt forget about Asher, in which case there are better ways to go about it? I noticed Matt realised that interacting with Vin is “fun” which makes me think interacting with Asher is...not. Stockholm Syndrome much? And isn't Vincent in contact with Asher? If so, then it would stand to reason that Asher would know exactly where Vin is. Or maybe he knows where but not with whom. That would make sense. And where's Alrick, what is he up to? Poor Leah if he doesn't make it back. : (
I don't think Matt truly loves Asher at this point. What he feels could be more of a sense of obligation. After all, Asher did give him a slightly better life, protected him, and taught him about sex, even taking his virginity. But other than that...Ash isn't much of a company, is he?
Which brings me to Matt's little sexcapade. Senses of self-loathing when thinking about Asher? That doesn't bode well for the relationship. To me it reinforces my Stockholm syndrome theory. Not to mention he actually has trouble with sex because of Asher. That's fucked up.
Looks like because of Asher's fucked up imprisonment, Matt has become a regular at that little club, enough to have two whores know him by name, which makes it look like he can't or doesn't want to hook up with, ehem, “non-professionals” because, at least, with the whores, there's no strings attached. Am I right? No guilty feelings, just sex, topping not to remember sex he's had with Asher ( which by the way bordered on rape).
There's a tiny plot hole, unless I'm mistaken, last time Matt and Ash had sex, didn't Ash blow him off? If so, how was a blow job “an action with no past memory, no past experience linking it to [Matthew]”?
Finally, who the heck just sent that text?! Freaky as hell! Matt should probably look what number it came from, see if he recognises it. My guess is it's either an unknown number or someone he knows just being cute, like Ashley for example, since she likes to party out.

Ugh that ran long but I got out all I wanted to say about the chapter! That's why I remade the review, I thought you deserved something better than the crap I put out before, ugh. You're amazing still updating when real life seems to be kicking your butt. I know what it is like to have a full study/homework/random crap week, since I'm in college and it's exams time. Hang in there, ok? I'll be eagerly waiting for the next update, but take your time, seriously. I wanna thank you, again, for taking my suggestion and using twitter. Makes it easier and less anxiety causing to track updates for this, since I won't be refreshing the page over 5 times a day any more. <.<

Just wanted to point out one thing hea: Contrary to what Dragonrose said about him MAYBE not loving Ash, he said Asher "stole" his heart away in the very end of Muffin which is basically saying he loves Asher obviously. Anyway, update asap!!

Oooh, cliffy. And a good one too. Poor Matthew. He is so broken and confused, resorting to comfort in all the wrong places, isn't he. Not that all those stolen kisses were of any help. :) I really love how you make him haunted by the memory of Asher in that club scene. Poor boy is so crazy, but we love him for that, don't we? Also, is it my impression or is this fic a bit darker than its predecessor? It's certainly an interesting turn of events. And as usual, I love being surprised when it comes to characterization. Not going for the obvious always gets my thumbs up, and the idea of avoidant, shy Matthew searching for relief in such a place was both dramatic and fascinating. Thanks for the awesome chapter. I will be waiting for the next.

Wow. Someone recced your stories to me and I just read all of Muffin and what you have up of Matthew, and I have to say that I am SO IN LOVE with the world and characters you have created here! I am going to twitter-stalk you, and I look forward to seeing how this story progresses when you have time to work on it. :)

You and your cliffhangers. You are such a tease.

Thanks for another great chapter. Poor Matthew. I hate seeing him all angst and torn up inside, but a part of me also loves reading about it too. Even though the V/M kiss didn't lead to much I'm still every much enjoyed this chapter.

Muffin topped! Yay! You normaly don't see that in slash fics. Usually the "bottom" is always a bottom. Thanks for shaking things up. Is it weird I want to see Matthew top Vincenzo? It seems kind of naughty. (^_^)

If you still want to reply to all the reviews you get you could always start a thread for this story in the forums, under the Original Slash section. This is just a suggestion, but there you could post all your reviewer responses without pushing any of the site's rules.

Anyway, I'll be eagerly awaiting to see who sent that text.

I'm really hoping that the 'I see you' isn't from Vincenzo. I feel like even though Matthew hasn't aquiesced to anything, the whole club sex thing is like a betrayal of Vincenzo. Matt is getting pretty deep in denial here. Then again, his self-esteem is so low that it's not surprising he'd question Vincenzo's motives to anatomical detail. I hope he realises in the next chapter that Vinny ISN'T playing some twisted game. Loved Vincenzo's forwardness in the beginning of the chapter, by the way. Very sweet.

I know you're gonna reveal it slowly, but am very curious as to what this terrible thing Matthew does that makes him call Asher. I don't want him to have another round of self-hating guilt afterwards..but can't really imagine what mistake he could make. Hopefully the terrible thing isn't actually terrible...anyway, I know you can't promise to update soon but as long as you promise to update at all, I'm happy :)

One thing: THIS IS NOT THE SAME WITHOUT ASHER PICKETT damnit! Matty better NOT be seduced by Vincenzo or else! Muahahaha :D :D :D