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July 10, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Long chapters? Hell! Bring'um on!!... and PLOT? I F-ing LOVE plot!! Asher is awesome! He's changed.. He's still paranoid, still controlling, still WTF? but he really wants an end to this creepy cousin war and a chance to finally enjoy life again.
Oh I know, I've said it before but WTH!, Asher and Matthew are both so deeply flawed, they need each other to be emotionally whole. OK blah, blah, blah... OMG! Carter is completely insane!, His knocking on the phone booth and staring in with that creepy nutjob grin would have given me a coronary on the spot. I hope he didn't place a GPS in Matt's phone (not that Seb doesn't already know where Matt lives) because Matthew and Asher need some quality time...in the pub?? Whatever...wherever... to begin deconstructing all those "nice" new walls they've built. Please update soon!!! I think I re-read "Muffin" at least 10 times waiting for a new "Matthew" chapter... A tad Obsessive?, Yes, but I'm hooked and it's summer break... what the Hell else do I have to do before school begins in August?
You are a fantastic author. Kudos for keeping my ADD self this interested for this long...Yippee!!
Oh I know, I've said it before but WTH!, Asher and Matthew are both so deeply flawed, they need each other to be emotionally whole. OK blah, blah, blah... OMG! Carter is completely insane!, His knocking on the phone booth and staring in with that creepy nutjob grin would have given me a coronary on the spot. I hope he didn't place a GPS in Matt's phone (not that Seb doesn't already know where Matt lives) because Matthew and Asher need some quality time...in the pub?? Whatever...wherever... to begin deconstructing all those "nice" new walls they've built. Please update soon!!! I think I re-read "Muffin" at least 10 times waiting for a new "Matthew" chapter... A tad Obsessive?, Yes, but I'm hooked and it's summer break... what the Hell else do I have to do before school begins in August?
You are a fantastic author. Kudos for keeping my ADD self this interested for this long...Yippee!!
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July 9, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Wow I just read both Muffin and Matthew in less than a day! I adore them, though it was pretty depressing to see how much Matthew fell apart in the beginning of the story. Personally, I am all for Asher. I do like Mario alot but I feel drawn to Asher more. I'm eagerly waiting for an update!
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July 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
So, I started reading Muffin 3 days ago. By the time I got to the end, I wanted to murder something. I was literally screaming "WHAT? THAT'S IT?!?!" at 3am in the morning. :) It's a good thing you started on Mathew because I would have stalked the internet and harassed you with fan mail all night long just to make me feel better. :D Haha. Kidding. Now that I finally caught up, I want to say...I AM AT YOUR MERCY. Latest chapter is epic~~~ God I missed that overbearing-manipulative-son-of-a-sweetheart. xD And silly Ashy, you know you already fell for Matty. It's more like get cute ol' Muffin to fall for you. Haha. I'm glad little Goomba here is gradually growing back his spine. >:)
On a separate note, I suck at offering any critique. :x Just know that I'm loving your story and have absolutely no complaints about your writing. :D I probably can't convince you to update soon (though I would be FREAKING ECSTATIC if you did, but I can definitely wait! :D) Oh, and I hope you're having a great summer! Thanks for entertaining mine!!!
On a separate note, I suck at offering any critique. :x Just know that I'm loving your story and have absolutely no complaints about your writing. :D I probably can't convince you to update soon (though I would be FREAKING ECSTATIC if you did, but I can definitely wait! :D) Oh, and I hope you're having a great summer! Thanks for entertaining mine!!!
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July 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
u r awesome, srsly. I enjoyed "Muffin" a lot and I'm glad to see a sequel. Well written as always.
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June 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hello, it's me again. I just sat down and actually read all of "Matthew", and I'm a little less riled up by the story ( :P ) and I'll try to give you some actual input.
You don't need any tips regarding your writing, so I'm leaving that out.
From some of the reviews, I gather you'd threatened to cut it short and just summarize the end of it. While I'd rather read the actual story, if you ever find yourself done with it I would REALLY appreciate that summary over an abandoned story. Just saying.
So, you did the prologue in third person, Asher's POV. I liked that. I liked having an insight into Asher's mind, and you managed to tell us what he was feeling without ruining the whole mysterious air about him. That was well done, and if you felt like throwing that in every now and then, I'd be delighted. I know you said it was just just a little experiment, but I really liked how it turned out.
The other thing I was thinking about (and I think I saw it in the comments somewhere) was that in "Muffin", Asher hesitated to let Daniel stabilize Matt/Muffin. Are you going to address that, at some point down the road? Because, I can think up plenty of explanations, but that's not the same as "canon".
Also, a couple of chapters back you asked if any particular song reminded us of them. It's a tango.
Tango is about playing cat and mouse, about hurting each other and coming back for more, about walking away and being held back, about being tense and controlled and getting carried away. It's about love and deceit and betrayal and passion, always passion. This video has scenes from "Shall we dance" and "Take the lead" and might illustrate what I'm trying to say:
http://youtu.be/aIXoxrtVerg
Or, for more obvious storytelling, check out the tangos in Moulin Rouge and Rent.
Lastly, I'm going to plead my personal case here and tell you what I'm hoping for in this story. I'm Team Asher all the way (actually finding Vincenzo kinda annoying in his pushiness) and I keep thinking back to their walk through the garden and how Asher was just beginning to open up, just to have that trampled on. Gonna have to be a little fangirlish here; I just want him to get his Muffin back. I don't care how long it takes them (let's be realistic, as fucked up as they are it'll take forever) and I don't care if it takes you forever to find the time to write. I'll wait. I want Matt to realize about the green car and all the other green things that I don't remember off the top of my head *cough* and I want Asher to find out about Matt's policy of no coffee, no cooking etc. And about the keychain.
In regards to the storyline, I'm hoping for more interaction between them, now that they're back in each other's lives.
You don't need any tips regarding your writing, so I'm leaving that out.
From some of the reviews, I gather you'd threatened to cut it short and just summarize the end of it. While I'd rather read the actual story, if you ever find yourself done with it I would REALLY appreciate that summary over an abandoned story. Just saying.
So, you did the prologue in third person, Asher's POV. I liked that. I liked having an insight into Asher's mind, and you managed to tell us what he was feeling without ruining the whole mysterious air about him. That was well done, and if you felt like throwing that in every now and then, I'd be delighted. I know you said it was just just a little experiment, but I really liked how it turned out.
The other thing I was thinking about (and I think I saw it in the comments somewhere) was that in "Muffin", Asher hesitated to let Daniel stabilize Matt/Muffin. Are you going to address that, at some point down the road? Because, I can think up plenty of explanations, but that's not the same as "canon".
Also, a couple of chapters back you asked if any particular song reminded us of them. It's a tango.
Tango is about playing cat and mouse, about hurting each other and coming back for more, about walking away and being held back, about being tense and controlled and getting carried away. It's about love and deceit and betrayal and passion, always passion. This video has scenes from "Shall we dance" and "Take the lead" and might illustrate what I'm trying to say:
http://youtu.be/aIXoxrtVerg
Or, for more obvious storytelling, check out the tangos in Moulin Rouge and Rent.
Lastly, I'm going to plead my personal case here and tell you what I'm hoping for in this story. I'm Team Asher all the way (actually finding Vincenzo kinda annoying in his pushiness) and I keep thinking back to their walk through the garden and how Asher was just beginning to open up, just to have that trampled on. Gonna have to be a little fangirlish here; I just want him to get his Muffin back. I don't care how long it takes them (let's be realistic, as fucked up as they are it'll take forever) and I don't care if it takes you forever to find the time to write. I'll wait. I want Matt to realize about the green car and all the other green things that I don't remember off the top of my head *cough* and I want Asher to find out about Matt's policy of no coffee, no cooking etc. And about the keychain.
In regards to the storyline, I'm hoping for more interaction between them, now that they're back in each other's lives.
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June 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh my goodness, my heart stopped, too. Well my jaw dropped, anyway. I have to admit I only skimmed most of the story, because I read all of "Muffin" in one day and it's four a.m. and I need to get up early.
In any case, I just wanted to drop by and tell you that I ship these two really, really hard. I don't have a twitter account, do you also have an email-update? Also can I bribe you to write faster?
I'm sorry, I normally try to leave more ...constructive reviews, i.e. what I thought you did well, etc. I'll tell you what you did well; you sucked me in and made me care. Now please update. :P
In any case, I just wanted to drop by and tell you that I ship these two really, really hard. I don't have a twitter account, do you also have an email-update? Also can I bribe you to write faster?
I'm sorry, I normally try to leave more ...constructive reviews, i.e. what I thought you did well, etc. I'll tell you what you did well; you sucked me in and made me care. Now please update. :P
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June 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ah so exciting!!! Way way better in character development for Matt then in Muffin. He's growing up!!! So proud of him. :D And Asher too. Gosh...had some kind of heart attack there when it was Vince/Matt in the earlier chaps. I was like "nononononononono!!!" Ahahah. I just kept waiting until Matt caught up with Ash and then now I start to wonder about Vincenzo and maybe they'd have a showdown? But totally Ash is going to win. But argh...yes! Finally!! Matthew gets to DO SOME WORK! That's really exciting and he should work for Ash and everything else instead of being some spineless idiot like he was.
Can't wait for the rest of the story!!! :D
Can't wait for the rest of the story!!! :D
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June 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh Asher, you sadist you. While I really love their interaction and past relationship I really want to see Matthew with Vincenzo, I can't help it. Love the story though, wherever you take us.
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June 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ok the torches are on standby. We'll keep them lit, sort of like the Olympic torch, just in case.
First of all, I'm too lazy to create a deviantart account just to comment on your (fabulous) art, but let me say the Chibi teams are precious. Love the little blush on Matthew. I see Vincenzo and Asher are true to their personalities in their drawings too (Asher dragging Matthew along imperiously lol, Vincenzo all affectionate/smirky).
Loved this chapter as always! Matthew has totally come around (from the apathy in the first story) to actively go through that frustration and humiliation for his friends. Asher, what can you say... sexy bastard (emphasis on the bastard part).
Am worried about Elena and Vincenzo, unless they're trying to lay low because Asher knows they've been lying to him.
First of all, I'm too lazy to create a deviantart account just to comment on your (fabulous) art, but let me say the Chibi teams are precious. Love the little blush on Matthew. I see Vincenzo and Asher are true to their personalities in their drawings too (Asher dragging Matthew along imperiously lol, Vincenzo all affectionate/smirky).
Loved this chapter as always! Matthew has totally come around (from the apathy in the first story) to actively go through that frustration and humiliation for his friends. Asher, what can you say... sexy bastard (emphasis on the bastard part).
Am worried about Elena and Vincenzo, unless they're trying to lay low because Asher knows they've been lying to him.
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June 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
"My determination monetarily wavered...momentarily" ch.10- Matthew