rate_review Reviews

Interesting start, looking forward to reading more...I like the crow idea. Can he understand other animals or just the crow? i suppose I will find out in the future.

I like your stories when they're told from the younger guy's perspective. You seem to "get" your characters more/understand their psyches more when they're younger males. If you wanted a change from your other stories and to write something different, then I would stay away from re-writing this in Owen's perspective. This story seems like it's going to be darker than your other ones. It seems like even when things get bad for your characters they always bounce back or have a fuck it attitude. I'm not so sure this one is going to be like that. I'm intrigued by what you'll do with this. (But can I make a plea for more Juicy Fruit? I love that story!)

This makes me feel the same way working on Bones does. I dunno if thats a good thing yet.

Wow this is certainly a different story. And I love that. I love your writing style. Of all your stories, and not just this one. But this story..has drawn me in. Its so different. I've never read a story where the main character starts off as an old man, and I've been reading stories on here for awhile.
I really hope that you continue with this story and all your others. You have a talent, and one I'd like to read more of.

you're chicken shit, but I love you anyways. I hope this doesn't begin with old person sex. Anything but that! It's good though. How is it that you have such a great grasp of fantasy and realism? and make both magical?

Hi, recently found your work, its good. I'm a fan. This one, though, it made me sit up and take notice. I really enjoy the concept and how your portraying things. The way you've written it is fascinating to me. The wispy memories are simply gossamer in your descriptions, beautiful little glimpses to whet the appetite but not enough to stem the hunger. I seriously had the urge to blow on my screen to see if those curtains would lift just the slightest bit more. Then laughed at myself for said urge. I love it. Please don't change a thing. I love the old man's perspective, his drowsy thought process is completely inventive and intriguing. Innovative, if you will.

If you feel you must, sure write a chapter every now and then from Owen's POV, but what you've got is completely different from every other story out there that I've found. Why would you want to conform to the traditional college boy's perspective that's been done a thousand times before? Please leave the old man up front. You pull this sense of pity, curiosity, and fear from your reader simultaneously by using him. That's pretty powerful. Fabulous job and I'll be ravenously waiting for the next update.

Hi I'm really enjoying this story so far. You're going a very interesting direction with this.

As for the rewrite, I don't think so. It's fine the way it is to be honest. But if you feel you need to, go ahead. I'm not fond of first person POV. And switches between POVs are the bane. Sure you can get more insight but I'm more preferential of 3rd person. It's a lot challenging I think to get across what you want the readers to understand.

Anyways, looking forward to your next update.

Cheers!

err and by my last review, I do mean keep it Old Man's POV. Don't switch it. I always hate when that happens. It breaks the flow of the story immensely in my opinion.

Oh, no, do not re-write. I love his voice, love the crow, and the darkness and age. I don't find the syntax at all difficult and I'm feeling the protagonist's infirmity and anger. You could go to another POV if you want, but don't re-write this... if you want a new POV, keep it as the prologue. I would rather you don't do Owen's POV. I think we can well imagine his perspective. It's more interesting to get the POV of a very strange character. Even give us a snip of the crow's-eye view at some point?

Reading this has been good for my brain. It's a bit poetic, with the words that you're using and jumbled feeling sentence structure.

It sounds like it is coming from an old man's half mad brain...
Great job.