rate_review Reviews

That's a great use for a ribbon. Putting a bow on it is almost like the new prompt covered a well! Given the prompts come as dribs and drabs it's fitting how little bits of more information about the people and situation come out in each new prompt. Also kind of telling how, given his apparant station and assets, Edward could presumably choose to see anybody he wanted in a carnal setting, but it sounds as if blood runs thickly... unless, as Apollo suggested in the reviews, it's more a faith title (this seems to be supported by the seemingly ceremonial "Brother-Sun" "Sister-Moon"?) Or am I just thinking too much... I suppose with him in the chair once the cloak went down he got to see the Sister Moon, too?

Evergreen: More pieces of the puzzle revealed! I enjoy seeing more of the world the story takes place in, learning about the characters' philosophies, exploring their interesting relationships. It's very poetic, the way you handle ambience in your stories, giving them a mystical, enthralling quality. It reminds me of fairy tales and old druidic stories. Very interesting, especially the way Connor observes his Mistress's affairs. She was, indeed, *enormously* cruel by keeping him with that ribbon all night long. She certainly guaranteed herself a night to remember!

Awesome work, as usual, very intrigued to see how this progresses!

EVERGREEN: You write the master/slave relationship very well, and I loved the evergreen ribbon... and where it was. Also the brother/sister closeness was very hot! But I think the best thing I liked about this story was the characters themselves. They were very believable, and you made me care about them almost right away, which is hard to do. So overall great job, it was very enjoyable to read!

That was very hot! I absolutely adore that this has become a continued plot! I love the characters you've created and the whole ambiance that it's taken with the worshiping of Mother Nature! I really hope you continue these, even if you eventually stop doing the prompts! ^^

You very nearly made me appreciate the cold with this one. Dancing under the moon while your pet prepares for you sounds quite enchanting. I could smell the evergreen and feel the chill thanks to your lovely, evocative story. Wonderful!

9: Evergreen

Ah, so we finally get to know the real relationship between The Master and The Mistress, and also that they're somewhat closer than most siblings. The evergreen theme was used beautifully and once Edward succumbed to Aine's playful charms all of the bitterness from earlier was forgotten. It's ironic that he had to go out into the cold in order to warm up a bit.

Her explanation about Connor's second green ribbon seemed to lighten up the Master's mood considerably too. If he's too busy smiling from that then he'll be less likely to shout if he thinks Connor is taking too long.

At the very beginning I had to read it a few times to figure out who was doing what and where. The second paragraph made me think that Connor had stopped himself completely and then nodded for Edward's manservant to retrieve the Mistress' cloak. So when Connor came down the stairs it first seemed like a typo, but then I scrutinized the section to figure it all out. Even splitting those two sentences between the surrounding paragraphs would make the second part much clearer.

I could pick on a few commas too, but they're a tough addiction to break.

The story keeps growing much more interesting with each installment. It's nice to see that the Sun and Moon can actually play nice once in a while, and apparently very nice at times.

Mmmm, now that's nice imagery, Conner all presentish! I like how you used both the idea of pine and then the color to pull the prompt together. I can just see her, spinning in circles, enjoying the snow.

So we have a name now, which is cool... But brother? Is that like a sibling brother or brother and sister in worship?

I like the fact that he seems to relax around her and be not quite the ass that we thought he was last time!

I love the idea of balls and beautiful gowns, and you described it perfectly! The imagery as always is amazing and it's nice to see that you've been able to fit yet another prompt into the world :D

I always look forward to reading what you've written!

Hmmm... trouble in paradise, eh? The first snow shows us the problems with a patriarchy, right enough... Another impressive addition to your narrative with this prompt. It feels like a whole different character of story, while still in the same setting. That's quite effective at changing the mood!

8. Snow

Again, it's fun to see you expanding on the Mistress and Connor tale, though this time you've described a beautiful party with cheer and friendly dance, even if Connor wasn't too thrilled about the event. Even in the middle of the first paragraph I had to ask myself why. When the Mistress slips outside and does her loving dance to the snow then it's even more beautiful because she eases back into her own person so gracefully. I especially loved the description of the snow as gems adorning her, and I could see it in my mind. (The mention of "pregnant clouds" was pretty cute too, but it explained what you were seeing in a mere instant.)

Along with all of that the story reveals much more about their land and, more importantly, the conflict between the old ways and the burgeoning society that's slowly taking control. The dynamic between the Mistress and Edward is the same thing on a personal level, and it's interesting to see how she acquiesces to her "duties" in order to protect her ways as well.

Seeing through the eyes of her jealous servant, whether contempt for the party where "she did not belong," the awe of her dancing, and especially his anger at both Edward and, I suspect, at her for giving in to his demands. He doesn't understand why; I only have an idea, but with any luck you'll continue the story and make it all clear. :)